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28 Funny Cat Jokes with Purrr-fect Punch Lines

Purr-fect, hilarious jokes for cat and kitten lovers. Sink your claws into these funny cat jokes to get you meowing!

Not a fan of cats? You’ve gotta be kitten yourself!

Seriously though, if your passion for four-legged friends extends beyond the litter tray, we’ve got dog jokes too. Still want more? Check out our animal jokes!

What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?

book jokes

A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause!

How did Garfield stop the rooster from waking him on Monday morning?

Monday jokes

He ate him on Sunday night!

What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?

A cat has nine lives but a frog croaks every night!

What did the cat say when using their iPhone?

Can you hear meow?

Why was the mouse afraid of swimming?


What’s a mouse’s least favourite song?

What’s up Pussycat!

How did the Cheshire cat become so wise?

He always reads the mews!

What would you drink at the mad Catter’s tea party?


What does the Cheshire cat say when he’s disappearing?

Get Meow’t of here!

What’s the Cheshire cat’s favourite drink?

Evaporated milk!

What’s a cat’s favourite nursery rhyme?

Three Blind Mice!

Daddy put the cat out…

I didn’t know he was on fire!

Which musical instrument is the best at catching fish?

A clarinet!

What do you call a pile of cats?

A miaowntain!

How much food does a cat have at breakfast?

A meow-thful!

Why do cats prefer wizards to witches?

Because sorcerers sometimes have milk in them!

Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?

In a cat-alogue!

What do you call a cat who works for Santa?

Santa Claws!

What do you call a cat who likes to eat beans?

Puss ‘n’ Toots!

Where do kittens go on school trips?

School jokes

The mewseum!

Why should you be careful when it’s raining cats and dogs?

You might step in a poodle!

When is it bad luck to see a black cat?

When you’re a mouse!

Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I’m a cat! How long has this been going on?

Since I was a kitten!

What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?

Hailing taxis!

What colour do cats like?


What’s it called when a cat wins a dog show?

A cat-has-trophy!

What do cats have minty breath?

They use mousewash!

What do cats have for breakfast?

Mice Krispies!

A raccoon playing a guitar - follow the link from our cat jokes to our animal jokes