Cat Jokes

Purr-fect jokes for cat and kitten lovers. Get on board with these funny cat jokes!

Not a fan of cats? You've gotta be kitten yourself!

Seriously though, if your passion for four-legged friends extends beyond the litter tray, we've got dog jokes too. Still want more? Check out our animal jokes!

What did the cat say when using their iPhone?

Can you hear meow?

Why was the mouse afraid of swimming?

Catfish!

What's a mouse's least favourite song?

What's up Pussycat!

How did the Cheshire cat become so wise?

He always reads the mews!

What would you drink at the mad Catter's tea party?

Kit-tea!

What does the Cheshire cat say when he's disappearing?

Get Meow't of here!

What's the Cheshire cat's favourite drink?

Evaporated milk!

What's a cat's favourite nursery rhyme?

Three Blind Mice!

Daddy put the cat out...

I didn’t know he was on fire!

Which musical instrument is the best at catching fish?

A clarinet!

How much food does a cat have at breakfast?

A meow-thful!

What do you call a pile of cats?

A miaowntain!

Why do cats prefer wizards to witches?

Because sorcerers sometimes have milk in them!

Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?

In a cat-alogue!

What do you call a cat who works for Santa?

Santa Claws!

What do you call a cat who likes to eat beans?

Puss 'n' Toots!

Why should you be careful when it's raining cats and dogs?

You might step in a poodle!

When is it bad luck to see a black cat?

When you're a mouse!

Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I’m a cat! How long has this been going on?

Since I was a kitten!

What colour do cats like?

Purr-ple!

What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?

Hailing taxis!

What's it called when a cat wins a dog show?

A cat-has-trophy!

What do cats have minty breath?

They use mousewash!

What do cats have for breakfast?

Mice Krispies!

Where do kittens go on school trips?

The mewseum!

A raccoon playing a guitar - follow the link from our cat jokes to our animal jokes

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