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41 Funny Cat Jokes with Purrr-fect Punch Lines

Purr-fect, hilarious jokes for cat and kitten lovers. Sink your claws into these funny cat jokes to get you meowing!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  December 22nd 2021

Not a fan of cats? You've gotta be kitten yourself!

Seriously though, if your passion for four-legged friends extends beyond the litter tray, we've got dog jokes too. Still want more? Check out our animal jokes!

Why are cats so good at video games?

Because they have nine lives!

Two brown hedgehogs squaring up to each other

What is a cat’s favorite sushi roll?


Ginger cat grinning

What's a cat's favorite book?

The Prince and the paw-purr!

What do you call a pile of cats?

A meow-ntain!

What's delicious and goes 'meow'?

A bis-CAT!

What do you get if you cross a cat and a squid?

An octopuss!

When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a rat!

What do you call a cat that gets anything it wants?

Very purr-suasive!

A kind faced cat

What's a cat's favourite Shakespeare play?

Romeow and Mew-liet!

William Shakespeare

What do you get when you cross a parrot and a cat?

A trip to the vet!

What did the cat wearing a bird disguise say?


Cat in owl mask

What's 3/7 chicken, 2/3 cat and 1/2 goat?


What's the difference between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of its paws, and a comma is a pause at the end of a clause!

book jokes

Why did the cat stay home from school on Monday?

It wasn’t feline well!

monday jokes

How did Garfield stop the rooster from waking him on Monday morning?

He ate him on Sunday night!

Monday jokes

What's the difference between a cat and a frog?

A cat has nine lives but a frog croaks every night!

What's worse than raining cats and dogs?

Hailing taxis!

What did the cat say when using their iPhone?

Can you hear meow?

Why was the mouse afraid of swimming?


What's a mouse's least favourite song?

What's up Pussycat!

How did the Cheshire cat become so wise?

He always reads the mews!

What would you drink at the mad Catter's tea party?


What does the Cheshire cat say when he's disappearing?

Get Meow't of here!

What's the Cheshire cat's favourite drink?

Evaporated milk!

What's a cat's favourite nursery rhyme?

Three Blind Mice!

Daddy put the cat out...

I didn’t know he was on fire!

Which musical instrument is the best at catching fish?

A clarinet!

Why do cats prefer wizards to witches?

Because sorcerers sometimes have milk in them!

Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?

In a cat-alogue!

What do you call a cat who works for Santa?

Santa Claws!

What do you call a cat who likes to eat beans?

Puss 'n' Toots!

Where do kittens go on school trips?

The mewseum!

School jokes

Why should you be careful when it's raining cats and dogs?

You might step in a poodle!

When is it bad luck to see a black cat?

When you're a mouse!

Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I’m a cat! How long has this been going on?

Since I was a kitten!

What colour do cats like?


What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?

Hailing taxis!

What's it called when a cat wins a dog show?

A cat-has-trophy!

What do cats have minty breath?

They use mousewash!

A raccoon playing a guitar - follow the link from our cat jokes to our animal jokes