Cat Jokes

Purr-fect jokes for cat and kitten lovers. Get on board with these funny cat jokes!

Not a fan of cats? You've gotta be kitten yourself!

Seriously though, if your passion for four-legged friends extends beyond the litter tray, we've got dog jokes too. Still want more? Check out our animal jokes!

What's a cat's favourite nursery rhyme?

Three Blind Mice!

Daddy put the cat out...

I didn’t know he was on fire!

Which musical instrument is the best at catching fish?

A clarinet!

How much food does a cat have at breakfast?

A meow-thful!

What do you call a pile of cats?

A miaowntain!

Why do cats prefer wizards to witches?

Because sorcerers sometimes have milk in them!

Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?

In a cat-alogue!

What do you call a cat who works for Santa?

Santa Claws!

What do you call a cat who likes to eat beans?

Puss 'n' Toots!

Why should you be careful when it's raining cats and dogs?

You might step in a poodle!

When is it bad luck to see a black cat?

When you're a mouse!

Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I’m a cat! How long has this been going on?

Since I was a kitten!

What colour do cats like?

Purr-ple!

What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?

Hailing taxis!

What's it called when a cat wins a dog show?

A cat-has-trophy!

What do cats have minty breath?

They use mousewash!

What do cats have for breakfast?

Mice Krispies!

Where do kittens go on school trips?

The mewseum!

A raccoon playing a guitar - follow the link from our cat jokes to our animal jokes

If you liked this, then you should try watching Britain's Funniest Class - Try Not To Laugh Challenge!

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