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Chess Jokes!

Love chess? Love jokes? Love chess jokes? Then CHECK out these gags!

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Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:ย  January 10th 2022

There's nothing like a game of chess to give your brain some exercise. One you've recovered after reading these chuckle-inducing gags, check out these amazing jokes or these sarcastic jokes which are "really good".

What do hungry chess players eat during a long game?

Chess-nuts!

Why do chess players sleep?

In a king size bed!

Why do chess players always have a lamp nearby?

Because they prefer to play at knight!

I got a job at a chess piece factory...

I'm working the knight shift!

I've got a new chess board...

Check me out!

Why is the white bishop piece in chess the fastest?

Because it's on F1!

What is a bishop's favourite Harry Potter location?

Diagon Alley

What's the best way to pay for a new chess game?

By cheque!

Why should you ever have lunch with a chess player?

It takes them ages to pass the salt!

Why can't you move the castle diagonally in chess?

It's a rocky error!

Why did the chess player give up playing the game?

They were really board!

A bird challenged me to a game of chess...

They said, "Toucan play that game!"

Why did the chess player win the disco competition?

They had all the right moves!

What's a chess player's favourite type of crisps?

Pawn cocktail!

What's a chess player's favourite rock band?

Queen!

Which knight always gave up at chess?

Sir Render!

When is the best time to play chess?

Knight time!

Why did the chess player's sandwich taste odd, mate?

Because it was stale, mate!

Why did the chess player look disinterested?

He was playing a bored game!

I play chess with a friend who's from Prague...

I call him my Czech mate!