These amazing jokes will blow your mind and tickle your funny bone! And if you liked them, why not check out our sausage jokes for some real bangers, or these sailor jokes for some water-based punning. And of course, there’s loads more genius jokes on our jokes hub!
Someone stole my mood ring!
I’m not sure how I feel about that
I sprained my thumb today
On the other hand, I’m doing ok
I got a job in a watch factory, but it’s not that hard
I just stand around all day making faces!
Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
What did the grape say when it was squashed?
Nothing, it just let out a little whine
Did you hear the song about the tortilla?
To be honest, it was more like a wrap
Why do yogurts like going to museums?
Because they’re cultured
What did the vegetarian vicar say?
‘Lettuce pray for peas’
What did the buffalo say when it dropped its child at school?
What did the duvet say to the bed?
‘Don’t worry, I’ve got you covered!’
What do you call a fake noodle?
Why didn’t the fungi like his new house?
There wasn’t mushroom
You should never try to eat a clock
It’s very time-consuming
What did one traffic light say to the other?
Don’t look, I’m changing!
I used to be addicted to the hokey-cokey…
Luckily I turned myself around
Mountains aren’t funny…
They’re hill areas!
Where do fish sleep?
In a riverbed!
What do you call a band of whales?