Sailor Jokes

Laughs ahoy! Check out these oar-somely funny sailor jokes!

These sea-faring funnies not enough? Try out our shark jokes, boat jokes, sea jokes, or any of these other jokes!

Jokes, as far as the eye can see!

Why couldn’t the sailors play cards?

Because the Captain was stood on the deck!

Why do sailors find it so difficult to learn the alphabet?

Because they often get lost at "C"!

Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecasted?

It's the clam before the storm!

What did one sailor say to the other when he yelled 'Land Ahoy!'

"Arrr, ye shore?"

What do tech-obsessed pirates wear?

An i-Patch!

I just bought a really expensive barge pole...

I thought I'd push the boat out!

Which sailors blow their noses most often?

The Anchor Chiefs!

What’s a sailor’s favorite detergent?

Tide!

What happened when the blue boat and the red boat crashed into each other?

They were marooned!

Who is the fastest sailor in the world?

Usain Boat!

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck!

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

You'd think it was RRR, but it's actually the C they love most!

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

If they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels!

Why don’t sailors like buying new hats?

They're afraid of cap sizing!

How did Viking sailors communicate?

Using Norse code!

What do sailors eat for breakfast?

Boatmeal!

What vegetables do sailors hate?

Leeks!

Why do sailors eat so many carrots?

It helps them sea better!

I met a sailor who liked putting helium balloons in his ship...

Whatever floats your boat I guess!

When is a sailor not a sailor?

When he's aboard!

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