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34 Best Christmas Tree Jokes For the Holidays

Get rewarded for all your mischievous behaviour this year by laughing at our fun-filled festive Christmas tree jokes!

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Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  February 14th 2022

Get ho ho hee heeing at our hilarious Christmas tree jokes! Whether you prefer your Christmas trees traditional, don’t mind them being artificial or really love a super modern and stylish look, the Christmas tree has been a big part of Christmas for over a thousand years!  

Christmas trees can be decorated in any way you like, but most are in white or gold: they are also handy for storing presents under too – fir sure! But remember they won’t last forever, so love them while they’re here because they only last four to five weeks. Also, don’t forget to take them down by Twelfth Night if you can, which is usually January 5th or 6th; because if you don’t, you might be cursed with bad luck! Once you've checked out these, have a laugh at our Christmas, Santa or Christmas cracker jokes.

What do Christmas trees get when they go numb?

Pines and needles!

What do Christmas trees get when they're ill?

Tinselitus!

How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out?

They spruce up!

Why did the Christmas tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal!

Why didn’t the Christmas tree perform well on it’s algebra test?

It got stumped by all the questions!

Where do young trees learn to become Christmas trees?

Elementree school!

What did Luke Skywalker say after he planted a Christmas tree farm?

May the forest be with you!

What was the Christmas tree’s favourite subject in high school?

Treegonometree!

Why was the Christmas tree’s friend so sad?

It was a weeping willow!

How do Christmas trees get their email?

They log-on!

Why was there ice cream under the Christmas tree?

To go with the pine cones!

What looks like half a Christmas tree?

They other half!

What was the Christmas tree’s favourite shape?

A treeangle!

How did the two rival Christmas trees get along?

They signed a peace tree-ty!

What happens to Christmas trees on Valentine’s Day?

They get all sappy!

How do Christmas trees make their feeling heard?

They o-pine up!

What was the Christmas tree’s favourite thing about Star Trek?

The Captain’s log!

Why was the Christmas tree hosting the awards show?

He really knew how to present!

What do Christmas tree’s wear at the pool?

Trunks!

Why did the Christmas tree go to the doctor?

It was feeling green!

What do they sing to Christmas trees at their retirement parties?

Fir he’s a jolly good fellow, fir he’s a jolly good fellow!

What did the beaver say to the Christmas tree?

Been nice gnawing you!

What don’t you want your dog to run into over Christmas vacation?

A Christmas flea!

Why did the Christmas tree go to decorating school?

So it could spruce up the forest!

How do you turn a Christmas tree into a reindeer?

You decorate it with HORNaments!

What did the Christmas tree do after it’s bank closed?

It started its own branch!

How was the Christmas tree like a bad seamstress?

They both drop needles!

Why are there so many Christmas trees at the North Pole.

Be clause, why not?!

Why do Christmas trees make such wonderful pets?

They have a great bark, but wooden bite!

What did the Balsam Fir say when he was picked up from the tree farm?

Christmas be my lucky day!

My cat has been nibbling on the christmas tree...

She's now coughing up fir balls!

What do you call a Christmas tree that only appears in action movies?

Spruce Willis!

Everyone likes decorating the Christmas tree, but taking it down confuses me...

It's really disornamenting!

What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an iPad?

A pineapple!

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