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25 of the Most Hilarious Chuck Norris Jokes... Ever!

Chuck Norris is an all-round tough guy. Check out these funny jokes and fake facts about the action movie legend!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  February 14th 2023

Chuck Norris is a famous martial arts expert and action movie legend. His reputation as an all-round tough guy had inspired hundreds of jokes and totally false facts (which are pretty believable). Here are some of the funniest!

Chuck Norris once froze a volcano by looking at it!

Volcano jokes

Chuck Norris has never cooked a hot meal.

Revenge is a dish best served cold!

A chef

Chuck Norris doesn't sleep...

He waits!

Chuck Norris tore up the Periodic Table...

Because he only believes in the element of surprise!

A scientist

Chuck Norris sacked his own shadow

for being too slow!

Chuck Norris once made a Slinky go upstairs!

It takes Chuck Norris 5 seconds...

To cook a minute steak!

Chuck Norris decides if a helium balloon will float!

Balloon Game

Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.

When Chuck Norris was born...

He gave his mum a lift home from the hospital!

We Googled the last time a baddie defeated Chuck Norris...

Zero results!

A cat looking at a computer

Chuck Norris has counted to infinity...


Chuck Norris ordered a Whopper at a Pizza Hut...

And got one!

Chuck Norris doesn't do press ups to keep fit...

He's actually holding the Earth down!

Earth Facts

Chuck Norris didn't call the wrong number...

You picked up the wrong phone!

Chuck Norris can clap with one hand!

When people think they can hear a thunderstorm...

It's actually Chuck Norris applauding!

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win.


Scrabble Quiz Thumbnail
Scrabble Quiz Thumbnail

Chuck Norris doesn't need a haircut.

His hair is scared to grow!

A man giving himself a haircut

They didn’t put Chuck Norris’ star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame...

They built Hollywood around his star!

Chuck Norris once made an onion cry!

Why doesn't Chuck Norris have a clock?

Because he decides what time it is!

Chuck Norris once built a snowman...

Out of warm water!

Chuck Norris doesn't need to blow his nose!

His germs simply run away!

Chuck Norris once kicked a lump of coal so hard it turned into a diamond!