Doctor Jokes

We diagnose a case of the giggles! Probably not ones to try out on your GP, but funny doctor jokes and classic doctor, doctor jokes for your collection...

Doctor, doctor jokes have really stood the test of time! Get on board with these classics and some original Beano gems.

When you're cured, head on over to our teacher jokes or ask Why did...? and get some very funny answers!

I went to the doctor this morning and said “I've swallowed a golf ball..."

The doctor said “Yes, I can see it's gone down a fairway!"

Why did the cookie call the doctor?

Because his world was crumbling!

Why did the doctor take a red pen to work?

In case she wanted to draw blood!

Doctor, doctor! Can you give me something for my wind?

Yes, have a kite!

Doctor, doctor! I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.

Next time, take off the candles!

Doctor, doctor! How long can a person live without a brain?

I don't know… How old are you?

Doctor, doctor! I've got broccoli stuck in my ear!

You need to eat more sensibly!

Doctor, doctor! They are saying in the waiting room that you've become a vampire...

Necks please!

Doctor, doctor! They've dropped me from the cricket team - they call me butterfingers…

Don't worry, what you have is not catching!

Why did the witch go to the doctor?

She had a dizzy spell!

Why did the bread go to the doctor?

It was feeling crummy!

Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I’m a vampire!

Necks, please!

Doctor, doctor! I'm suffering from insomnia!

Try sleeping at the edge of the mattress, you'll soon drop off!

Doctor, doctor! I've gone all crumbly, like a cheese biscuit...

You're crackers!

Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I'm a caterpillar!

Don't worry, you'll soon change!

Doctor, doctor! What can you give me for wind?

Nothing, but I can lend you a kite!

Doctor, doctor! Help, I feel like a pair of curtains.

Pull yourself together then!

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pack of cards!

I'll deal with you later!

Doctor, doctor! I think I’ve lost my memory! When did this happen?

When did what happen?

Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I’m a bridge! Goodness, what's come over you?

Ten cars, a tractor and the number 68 bus!

A wacky laughing emoji - click here to visit our silly jokes from our doctor jokes

If you liked this, then you should try watching Britain's Funniest Class - Try Not To Laugh Challenge!

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