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Flea Jokes

Check out this bum-scratching list of Flea Jokes!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  February 6th 2022

Fleasy does it! You don’t want to overdo the laughing but let’s just say that these Flea Jokes will make you hop with laughter! They’re a parasite to behold! When you’ve scratched this particular humorous itch, check out our other inverteGREAT pages of Spider Facts and Ladybird Jokes!

What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

Bugs Bunny?

Rabbit jokes thumbnail
Rabbit jokes thumbnail

How do you build a flea circus?

Start from scratch?

A big pair of clown shoes

How do fleas get from A to B?

The itch hike?

What's the difference between a flea and a coyote?

One howls on the prairie, the other prowls on the hairy!

What do you call a happy flea?

A hop-timist!

What do you call a sad flea?

A pessimist tick!

What do you say to a clean dog?

Long time no flea!

How do you start an insect race?

One, two, flea, GO!

Did you hear that the pet shop is selling dirty dogs?

It’s buy one, get one flea!

Which insect is the first to run away?

The flea!

It’s no surprise my dog is always scratching…

We bought him at the flea market!

Did you hear about the scruffy cat with a watch on its collar?

The tick was watching!

Vet: “I’m sorry I’m gonna have to put this dog down.”
Owner: “Fleas?”

Vet: No, my arms are aching!

I took my cat to the vet for fleas.

They refused to give him any!

A cat getting a check-up at the vet, while a rubber chicken looks on

How do fleas start their cars?

Jump start!

What did one flea on Pugsly Addams say to another flea on Pugsly Addams?

See you on Wednesday?

What do you call a pig with fleas?

Pork scratchings!

How do you pick up a flea?

Use your mite!

How do you get rid of fleas?

Politely: Fleas go away!