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Beano Comic

20 Hammer Jokes That Hit The Nail On The Head!

You'll be laughing like a jackhammer at these jokes - they really nail it!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  July 9th 2024

Stop - hammer time! These hammer-based hilarities will have you howling hysterically! We've really nailed this one - you won't know what hit you! And if you're left wanting more, we have you covered for jokes - we've got SO many! Have a laugh at AI, toilets, and trumpets!

What do you call a shy person with a hammer?


What happened when the god of thunder dropped his hammer?

He got a Thor foot!

What do you call it when you vandalise things using a hammer?

An act of mallets!

Did you hear about the journalist who uncovered the truth about hammers?

It was a hard-hitting report!

Why did Captain America wait so long to pick up Thor’s hammer?

He didn’t want to steal his thunder!

I didn’t understand how hammers could be susceptible to gravity…

Then it hit me!

What is a carpenter’s favourite fish?

A hammerhead shark!

Why aren’t hammers very popular with the other tools?

They tend to be a bit blunt!

What do you get when you hit an avocado with a hammer?


Why did the cow take a hammer to bed?

She wanted to hit the hay!

What did one hammer say to the other after a long day of work?

“We really nailed it today!”

Why did the hammer go to the hospital?

He kept hitting his head!

Why do doctors use those little hammers to tap patients’ knees?

They get a kick out of it!

What would a hammer be called in Minecraft?

MC Hammer!

What’s the worst nail to hammer?

Your fingernail!

What is the most groundbreaking invention of all time?

The jackhammer!

Have you heard that new song about hammers?

It's an absolute banger!

I told a hammer joke…

And I think I nailed it!

What happened when the god of thunder missed the nail with his hammer?

He got a Thor thumb!

What do you call a hammer bought on the first of April?

April Tool!