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20 Messi Jokes Worth a Golden Hoot!

Here's 20 of the greatest jokes about the world's greatest football player, Lionel Messi!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  November 27th 2023

When it comes to football, Lionel Messi is the greatest of all time – the GOAT! There's players who come close but can't quite match the skills and goal-scoring ability of the Inter Miami and Argentina legend. Here's 20 hilarious jokes to tell after a kick around in the park!

How did Lionel Messi turn a rectangle into a corner?

He took a corner!

What has two legs and five golden boots?

Lionel Messi!

What does Lionel Messi do when he doesn't score?

Wakes up from his bad dream and goes to training!

Why is Lionel Messi like a fish with bad luck?

He's always finding the net!

Which footballer leaves his clothes on the floor?

Lionel Messi!

A man with a pile of dirty laundry

Why did Messi take a piece of rope to the World Cup final? 

He was the skipper!

Why is Lionel Messi like a baby?

They're both good dribblers!

What is blue and white, blue and white, blue and white?

Lionel Messi rolling down a hill!

Why are Inter Miami like an excited dog on a walk?

They always keep a hold of their lead!

What tea does Messi drink? 


A football on the touchline

Which of the Mr. Men characters is loved by Argentina football fans?

Mr. Messy!

What's a lion's favourite football player?

Lion-el Messi!

A lion in the Kalahari

What does Messi and a magic fans have in common?

They both enjoy a hat trick!

Why does nobody like dining with Lionel?

He's a Messi eater!

A man eating chocolate

Why is Cristiano Ronaldo's house always clean?

Because he's not Messi!

A grinning bucket

Why would Messi love living on a farm?

Because he's the GOAT!

Why is Messi like a great comedian?

They both have perfect timing!

A pigeon doing stand-up comedy

Why does Messi have so many football books?

Because he loves to read the game!

Why would Messi make a good post office worker?

He always delivers!

Why is Lionel Messi rubbish at hide and seek? 

Wherever he goes, there's always a crowd!

Christmas joke emoji