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20 Not Funny Jokes That Make Absolutely Zero Pig

These 20 nonsensical anti-jokes are about as funny as a bag of onions. Guaranteed to make you not laugh! Or are they?

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  April 3rd 2024

Jokes usually follow a tried-and-tested recipe. You have a set up and a punchline. So far so good - but what happens if you mess up the formula? Are they still a joke? Or do they turn into something else? Weirdly - these not funny jokes often end up pretty funny by accident! Take a look for yourself, you know - for science!

If these jokes are just a bit too odd for you we completely understand. And we have lots of others for you to try! Like these alien jokes, these toilet jokes, or even these "tell me some jokes"!

But if you think you can survive 20 totally unfunny jokes - then read on, biffo!

How is a laser beam similar to my pet ferret?

Neither of them can whistle!

What is the funniest joke of all time?

Definitely not this one!

A horse walks into a bar

Several people get up and leave because they realise this could be dangerous

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

Where’s my tractor?

What do you call a cheese that isn’t yours?

Stolen! You should give it back now.

My friend said to me, “What rhymes with orange?”

And I said, “No, it doesn’t!”   

What do a turkey and a tricycle have in common?

They both have handlebars… except for the turkey!

Why can’t a T-rex clap?

Because it’s extinct!

“I bet I know what makes you laugh!” “What?”

“Your facial muscles!”

So, you’re looking for the best anti jokes? Here are some of my favourite ones…

Uno, Un, One, Een…

What do you call a joke that isn’t funny?

A sentence!

What is red and extremely bad for your teeth?

A brick!

What did one German man say to the other?

I don’t know. I can’t speak German!

What do you call a fly with no wings?

A fly. The name doesn’t change when it loses its wings.

What’s blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint!

What did the French guy say to another French guy?

Wow, my name is also Guy!

What’s white and black and eats like a horse?

A zebra!

Why are there no Amish people on Uranus?

Uranus cannot support human life!

What did the cowboy say at his second rodeo?

“This ain’t my first rodeo!”   


You can’t trust an atom

They make up everything!