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33 Plant Jokes That You Won't Be-Leaf !

After some plant jokes and one liners? Everyone's got thyme for these botanical belly-laughs! We're not mossing, so take them or leaf them!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  November 17th 2022

Looking for some some laughs? These tree-larious plant jokes are no one-trick peony! OK - that's enough pollen your leg, let's put the petal to the metal and get cracking with these plant jokes!

Not feeling the foliage? Check out these caterpillar jokes, these biochemistry jokes, or even these desert jokes! And don't forget - we've got jokes on every topic you can ever imagine over on our main jokes page!

How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?

Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses!

When do sweet potatoes like to go to the comedy club?

Yamateur hour!

Who did Prince Mushroom fall in love with at the royal ball?


How does a plant answer the phone?


What’s a frog’s favorite type of flower?

A croakus!

A hypnotised frog

What did the teacher plant tell her students?

Stop mossing around!

What plant is always cold?

The chilli!

What song does a gardener know all the words to?

Lettuce be!

What did the plant tell the DJ?

Turnip the volume!

What’s a nervous tree called?

A sweaty palm!

Why are trees so tall and thin?

They only eat light!

What did one cactus say to the other?

Looking sharp!

How does a flower whistle?

With it's tulips!

What did the plant decide to study in college?


What’s the fiercest type of flower?

A dandelion!

What did the sunflower say to her BFF when she reached 5 feet tall?

You grow, girl!

What vegetable did King Arthur pull from the stone?


What's a mouse's favourite plant?


How do you take care of a plum tree?

Prune it!

What type of plants do skateboarders grow?


How do you identify a dogwood tree?

By its bark!

What do trees wear when it floods?

Swimming trunks!

Swimming Jokes
Swimming Jokes

I only walk through the very best forests

I have to have a quali-tree experience!

Why is the jungle so supportive?

All the plants are rooting for you!

How do you get water into a watermelon?

You plant the spring!

What type of leaf vegetable can go to the moon?


What’s a YouTuber’s favorite type of moss?

Lichen subscribe!

I like to put basil in my tomato soup

It's simply soup-herb!

What did the tree say to the spring flowers?

It's a re-LEAF to see you!

Laughing crying emoji

You can’t plant flowers...

...If you haven't botany!

What's new crop did the farmer plant?

Beets me!

When a plant is sad, what do the other plants do?


Biology Jokes

What do chickens grow on?