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Stupid Jokes!

Approach the comedy buffet and prepare to stuff your face with some really stupid jokes!

Some jokes are so clever they could be mistaken for an owl who dabbles in rocket science, but not our stupid jokes. Some jokes are so daft, they’re the exact opposite of whatever that owl is. These are those types of jokes

Once you’ve recovered from laughing your shoes off that this lot, check out these awesome school jokes and jokes for kids (that’s you!). 

What do cows like to watch on Netflix?

A cow eating popcorn

A good moo-vie!

What did the magician say to the fisherman?

A magician and a fish

“Go on, pick a cod!”

Why did Cinderella not get picked for the netball team?

Cinderella on a netball court

She kept running away from the ball!

Where would you learn to make a Knickerbocker Glory?

Two sundaes

At sundae school!

What do you call a cow that nibbles your grass?

A cow chewing grass

A lawn moo-er!

Who is the smartest creature in the sea?

A fish

Fish, because they live in schools!

Why did the bike have a nap?

It was two-tyred!

What is Harry Potter’s favourite subject at Hogwarts?

Harry Potter

Spelling!

Are there any Halloween monsters who are good at maths?

Dracula and maths equipment

Nope, unless you Count Dracula!

Where’s the warmest part of a room?

A cold person

The corner, because it’s always 90 degrees!

Why couldn’t the pony sing?

A sad pony

It was a little hoarse!

Two men went to court for stealing a calendar…

Two prisoners

They were given six months each!

What do call a quiet Hawaiian laugh?

A man in a Hawaiian shirt

Aloha!

What would you call an elf who’s won the lottery?

A rich elf

Very welfy!

Where do penguins keep their savings?

Penguin and coins

In a snow bank!

What’s small and washes up on beaches?

A microwave on a beach

Micro-waves!

What computer can keep you dry in a storm?

A computer in a storm

A Mac!

What do you call a bee that can’t make a decision?

A bee on a windowsill

A maybe?

How do you get a small astronaut off to sleep?

A young astronaut

You rocket!

What sits at the bottom of the sea and bites its nails?

A shipwreck

A nervous wreck!