Jokes for Kids

Beano has thousands of funny jokes for kids. Stock up on kids' jokes right here, right now... welcome to the official home of AWESOME!

We've got shedloads of funny jokes for kids on our site. Yep, we've pulled together an awesome collection of over 3000 kids jokes, whether you're a kid yourself or you're a little older with an awesome sense of humour.

Get stuck in now! Check out our Joke Generator for random jokes for kids, or browse our categories for kids jokes on almost every subject.

Some of our most popular jokes are our funny egg jokes, marvellous Marvel jokes and wacky What do you call...? jokes.

Here are some of the best:

Why are mushrooms invited to parties?

Because they are such fungis!

What day of the week do potatoes hate the most?


How do trees use computers?

They log in!

What's an astronaut's favourite computer key?

The space bar!

What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna one, Anna two!

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No-eye deer!

Why did the tap dancer give up?

He kept falling in the sink!

How do bees get to school?

On the school buzz!

Why do ducks make good detectives?

They always quack the case!

Why did Gran put wheels on her rocking chair?

So she could rock 'n' roll!

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it!

What did one bogey say to the other?

“You think you’re funny, but you’re snot!”

Knock, knock! Who's there? Amos. Amos who?

A mosquito!

Did you hear about the thief who stole a surfboard?

He escaped on a crime wave!

What was wrong with the wooden car?

It wooden go!

Which animal do you want to be in winter?

A little otter!

What do you call a fast fungus?

A mush-vroom!

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pack of cards!

I'll deal with you later!

Why are drummers never late?

They beat the clock!

What insect is good at counting?

An account-ant!

Doctor, doctor! I think I’ve lost my memory! When did this happen?

When did what happen?

What do elephants wear to go swimming?


What makes music on your head?

A hairband!

Knock, knock! Who's there? Lettuce. Lettuce who?

Lettuce in, it's cold out here!

What do you call a really good plumber?

A drain surgeon!

What colour do cats like?


Silly jokes: link from kids' jokes to silly jokes.

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