Jokes for Kids

Tons of jokes for kids from Beano, the official home of AWESOME! Stock up on kids' jokes right here, right now...

These jokes are suitable for kids - so whether that's you, or you're not quite a kid any more but have an awesome sense of humour, get stuck in!

Beano has 1000+ jokes for kids - check out our Joke Generator for random jokes, or browse our super cool category pages for jokes on almost every subject.

Some of our most popular jokes are our funny egg jokes, marvelous Marvel jokes and wacky What do you call...? jokes.

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No-eye deer!

Why did the tap dancer give up?

He kept falling in the sink!

How do bees get to school?

On the school buzz!

Why do ducks make good detectives?

They always quack the case!

Why did Gran put wheels on her rocking chair?

So she could rock 'n' roll!

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogie in it!

What did one bogey say to the other?

“You think you’re funny, but you’re snot!”

Knock, knock! Who's there? Amos. Amos who?

A mosquito!

Did you hear about the thief who stole a surfboard?

He escaped on a crime wave!

What was wrong with the wooden car?

It wooden go!

Which animal do you want to be in winter?

A little otter!

What do you call a fast fungus?

A mush-vroom!

Doctor, doctor! I feel like a pack of cards!

I'll deal with you later!

Why are drummers never late?

They beat the clock!

What insect is good at counting?

An account-ant!

Doctor, doctor! I think I’ve lost my memory! When did this happen?

When did what happen?

What do elephants wear to go swimming?


What makes music on your head?

A hairband!

Knock, knock! Who's there? Lettuce. Lettuce who?

Lettuce in, it's cold out here!

What do you call a really good plumber?

A drain surgeon!

What colour do cats like?


Silly jokes: link from kids' jokes to silly jokes.

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