Poop Jokes

Some people think they're gross, but Beano.com knows that poop jokes are funny, full plop... er, full stop!

These jokes are suitable for kids - so whether that's you, or you're not quite a kid any more but have an awesome sense of humour, get stuck in!

Beano has 1000+ jokes for kids - check out our Joke Generator for random jokes, or browse our super cool category pages for jokes on almost every subject.

Some of our most popular jokes are our funny egg jokes, marvellous Marvel jokes and wacky What do you call...? jokes.

What's the best snack for watching a movie that stinks?


What do you get when a king farts?

Noble gas!

Do you want to hear a poop joke?

Nah, they always stink!

How can you tell if a clown has just farted?

He smells funny!

What's the best time to go to the bathroom?


If a poop is "a call of nature", what is a fart?

A missed call!

Have you seen the new movie, 'Constipated'?

It hasn't come out yet!

What do you get if you poop in your overalls?


What did the poop say to the fart?

"You blow me away!"

What's brown and always gets out?


"Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?

"I think it's pooping, sir!"

What's brown and sticky?

A stick!

What's brown and sounds like a bell>


Did you hear about the constipated maths teacher?

He had to work it out with a pencil!

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?

He couldn't budget!

Did you hear about the man who ate 24 cans of alphabet soup?

He has trouble with his vowels!

What do you never truly appreciate until it's gone?

Toilet paper!

Why does Piglet smell of farts?

Because he plays with Pooh!

What's the first rule of scuba diving?

Don't fart in your wet suit!

What do you call a cat who likes to eat beans?

Puss 'n' Toots!

What do you call a dinosaur fart?

A blast from the past!

Why don’t skeletons fart in public?

Because they haven't got the guts!

What’s invisible and smells of carrots?

Rabbit farts!

Why don't farts do well at school?

They get expelled!

What do you get when a king farts?

Noble gas!

What did the poop say to the fart?

"You blow me away!"

Why did the boy stop telling fart jokes?

Everyone told him they stink!

If you liked this, then you should try watching Harry Hill's Best Jokes Ever!

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