Dad Jokes

Nobody likes cheesy jokes more than dads... here some truly groan-worthy dad jokes!

Nobody loves corny jokes more than dad! These eye rollers might as well have escaped from our cheese jokes page. 

We've got tons more dad jokes too - knock, knock jokes, What do you call...? jokes and What did...? jokes.

Enjoy... or enjoy not enjoying!

Why did the crab never share?

Because he's shellfish!

Did you hear the rumour about butter?

Well, I’m not going to spread it!

What do you call a man who can't stand?


I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro...

It’s a total rip off!

Dad, did you get a haircut?

No, I got them all cut!

I keep trying to lose weight…

…but it keeps finding me!

What do you call a bear without any teeth?

A gummy bear!

Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer?

He couldn't see himself doing it!

Which pet is the loudest?

A trumpet!

Why can’t the T-rex clap its hands?

Because it's extinct!

What do you call a man who can't stand?


I’ve just been diagnosed as colourblind...

It really came out of the purple!

What do you call a small mother?

A minimum!

Did you hear about the cow that was swept away in a tornado?

It was an udder disaster!

Why did the smart phone need glasses?

It lost all its contacts!

What type of magazines do cows read?


What kind of tea you drink with the Queen?

Royal tea!

Where do you learn to make ice cream?

Sundae school!

Is this pool safe for diving?

It deep ends!

I don't trust stairs...

They're always up to something!

If you liked this, then you should try watching Britain's Funniest Class - Try Not To Laugh Challenge!

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