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45 Funny One Liner Jokes That Will Make Anyone Laugh

Laugh-inducing one liners! Check out the Beano's jokes teams' ludicrously funny collection of the best one liners.

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Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  July 1st 2021

Make em' laugh with just a few words. These funny one liners are short, snappy and can guarantee fits of giggles!  If you've been searching for the best one liners then we have a treat for you!

And when you're finished with these great one liners? Laugh it up with some eye-rolling corny jokes, what do you call...? jokes or even some disastrous Dad jokes! Fancy something a little random? Check out Beano's great joke generator

Some seasons are cold...

And summer hot!

summer jokes

Had some green coloured ice cream...

It was mint!

ice cream jokes

Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they're going to pay...

You have my word!

best jokes of 2020

I always give 100%...

Which is why I lost my job as an exam marker!

exam jokes

Failed my art exam by using the wrong pencil.

It just wasn’t 2B!

exam jokes

My calculator stopped working mid way through my exam.

I can’t count on it any more!

exam jokes

My pirate friend just got his exam results...

All high Cs!

exam jokes

I had plans to read a book about sinkholes...

But they fell through!

book jokes

I just finished a book about Mount Everest...

It was a cliff hanger!

book jokes

A book fell on my head...

I only have myshelf to blame!

book jokes

When people ask if I'm an optimist...

I tell them, I hope so!

one liner jokes

Two monkeys running a bath. One said, Oo, oo, oo, aah aah aah!

The other said, well put some cold in it then!

one liner jokes

It all starts innocently, mixing chocolate and Rice Krispies, but before you know it, you’re adding raisins and marshmallows...

It's a rocky road!

one liner jokes

I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together...

Riveting!

one liner jokes

Conjunctivitis.com...

There's a site for sore eyes!

one liner jokes

I needed a password eight characters long...

I picked Snow White and the seven dwarves!

one liner jokes

I love Snapchat...

I could talk about card games all day!

one liner jokes

I told my doctor that I've hurt my arm in several places...

He told me not to go to those areas!

one liner jokes

I’m learning the hokey cokey...

Not all of it. But I’ve got the ins and outs!

one liner jokes

I rang up my phone company and said, I want to report a nuisance caller...

He said, not you again!

one liner jokes

I'd tell you a chemistry joke...

But I know I wouldn't get a reaction!

one liner jokes

I used to think I was indecisive...

But now I'm not sure!

one liner jokes

To the mathematicians who thought of the idea of zero...

Thanks for nothing!

one liner jokes

I was addicted to the hokey pokey...

but thankfully I turned myself around!

one liner jokes

I tried to escape from the apple store...

but there were no windows!

one liner jokes

My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture...

I have a hunch it's going to be me!

one liner jokes

I was hit in the head with a can of soda...

Luckily it was a soft drink!

one liner jokes

I replaced my friend's bed with a trampoline...

They hit the roof!

one liner jokes

People used to laugh at me when I would say I want to be a comedian...

Well nobody's laughing now!

one liner jokes

R.I.P boiled water...

You will be mist!

one liner jokes

My friend asked me what the best thing about living in Switzerland was...

I said the flag is a big plus!

one liner jokes

Samsung needed security to stand outside their store so they called...

Guardians of the galaxy!

one liner jokes

Most people are shocked when they find out how incompetent I am...

As an electrician!

one liner jokes

I hate people who use big words...

They're just trying to make themselves look perspicacious!

one liner jokes

Don't spell part backwards...

It's a trap!

one liner jokes

I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant...

But then I changed my mind!

one liner jokes

Doctor, doctor! There's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible.

Well tell them I can't see him right now!

one liner jokes

I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both left-ies

One the one hand, it's great. On the other, it's not!

one-liner jokes

Someone asked for a donation towards the local swimming pool.

So I gave them a glass of water!

one liner jokes

I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory.

All I did was take a day off!

one-liner jokes

Just burned 2,000 calories...

That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap!

one liner jokes

Doctor, doctor! My sim has caught fire!

That'sSIMpossible!

Doctor, Doctor, I stood on a LEGO!

Try to BLOCK out the pain!

Doctor, doctor! Can you give me something for my wind?

Yes, have a kite!

Next up: food jokes