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45 Funny One Liner Jokes That Will Make Anyone Laugh

Laugh-inducing one liners! Check out the Beano's jokes teams' ludicrously funny collection of the best one liners.

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  July 1st 2021

Make em' laugh with just a few words. These funny one liners are short, snappy and can guarantee fits of giggles!  If you've been searching for the best one liners then we have a treat for you!

And when you're finished with these great one liners? Laugh it up with some eye-rolling corny jokes, what do you call...? jokes or even some disastrous Dad jokes! Fancy something a little random? Check out Beano's great joke generator

Some seasons are cold...

summer jokes

And summer hot!

Had some green coloured ice cream...

ice cream jokes

It was mint!

Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they're going to pay...

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You have my word!

I always give 100%...

exam jokes

Which is why I lost my job as an exam marker!

Failed my art exam by using the wrong pencil.

exam jokes

It just wasn’t 2B!

My calculator stopped working mid way through my exam.

exam jokes

I can’t count on it any more!

My pirate friend just got his exam results...

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All high Cs!

I had plans to read a book about sinkholes...

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But they fell through!

I just finished a book about Mount Everest...

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It was a cliff hanger!

A book fell on my head...

book jokes

I only have myshelf to blame!

When people ask if I'm an optimist...

one liner jokes

I tell them, I hope so!

Two monkeys running a bath. One said, Oo, oo, oo, aah aah aah!

one liner jokes

The other said, well put some cold in it then!

It all starts innocently, mixing chocolate and Rice Krispies, but before you know it, you’re adding raisins and marshmallows...

one liner jokes

It's a rocky road!

I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together...

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one liner jokes

There's a site for sore eyes!

I needed a password eight characters long...

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I picked Snow White and the seven dwarves!

I love Snapchat...

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I could talk about card games all day!

I told my doctor that I've hurt my arm in several places...

one liner jokes

He told me not to go to those areas!

I’m learning the hokey cokey...

one liner jokes

Not all of it. But I’ve got the ins and outs!

I rang up my phone company and said, I want to report a nuisance caller...

one liner jokes

He said, not you again!

I'd tell you a chemistry joke...

one liner jokes

But I know I wouldn't get a reaction!

I used to think I was indecisive...

one liner jokes

But now I'm not sure!

To the mathematicians who thought of the idea of zero...

one liner jokes

Thanks for nothing!

I was addicted to the hokey pokey...

one liner jokes

but thankfully I turned myself around!

I tried to escape from the apple store...

one liner jokes

but there were no windows!

My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture...

one liner jokes

I have a hunch it's going to be me!

I was hit in the head with a can of soda...

one liner jokes

Luckily it was a soft drink!

I replaced my friend's bed with a trampoline...

one liner jokes

They hit the roof!

People used to laugh at me when I would say I want to be a comedian...

one liner jokes

Well nobody's laughing now!

R.I.P boiled water...

one liner jokes

You will be mist!

My friend asked me what the best thing about living in Switzerland was...

one liner jokes

I said the flag is a big plus!

Samsung needed security to stand outside their store so they called...

one liner jokes

Guardians of the galaxy!

Most people are shocked when they find out how incompetent I am...

one liner jokes

As an electrician!

I hate people who use big words...

one liner jokes

They're just trying to make themselves look perspicacious!

Don't spell part backwards...

one liner jokes

It's a trap!

I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant...

one liner jokes

But then I changed my mind!

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me...

one liner jokes

It means a lot!

Doctor, doctor! There's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible.

one liner jokes

Well tell them I can't see him right now!

I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both left-ies

one-liner jokes

One the one hand, it's great. On the other, it's not!

Someone asked for a donation towards the local swimming pool.

one liner jokes

So I gave them a glass of water!

I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory.

one-liner jokes

All I did was take a day off!

Just burned 2,000 calories...

one liner jokes

That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap!

Doctor, doctor! My sim has caught fire!


Doctor, Doctor, I stood on a LEGO!

Try to BLOCK out the pain!

Doctor, doctor! Can you give me something for my wind?

Yes, have a kite!

Next up: food jokes