These deliciously daft morning jokes are guaranteed to turn your yawns into yuks! So grab some cereal and settle in for some amazing A.M. comedy! (The A.M. stands for Absolute Mirth.)
If these jokes grab you by the guffaws, why not check out our tremendously tickling time jokes or some nutty New Year’s jokes! For all you smarty-pants – or any other type of pants people – be sure to take a peek at our cracking clever jokes. Not to mention all the great jokes on the jokes page! Look, JOKES! we can NOT make it any clearer.
Why did the alarm clock get cross?
He was all WOUND UP!
Why did the spider only put one leg out of her bed?
She wanted to start the day off on the right foot!
Why wouldn’t the T-Rex get out of bed?
He was still dino-SNORING!
When do ducks usually wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
How do skeletons like their eggs?
I saw a squirrel this morning cycling through the park.
I didn’t know they can ride bikes!
During the school year, what’s the number one thing kids wish for on Sunday night?
A foot of snow by morning!
How do cheeses greet each other on Monday mornings?
Have a Gouda week!
What did the Cyclops say every Monday morning?
Eye don’t want to get up!
On Monday morning, rolling out of bed is easy.
Getting up off the floor is another story!
How did Garfield stop the rooster from waking him on Monday morning?
He ate him on Sunday night!
What do bus drivers put on their morning pancakes?
Why does batter run away when you’re making pancakes?
Because the recipe says to crack to eggs and then beat it!
This morning I tried to flip my eggs like I do with my pancakes.
Yolks on me!
How does a panda make pancakes in the morning?
With a pan… duh!
How do zoo keepers wake the animals in the morning?
They set their allamas!
Why doesn’t Santa use reindeer milk in his coffee?
He’s on a deery-free diet!
Why are zombies always hired as make-up artists?
Because they have to put their face on every morning!
I went to the doctor this morning and said “I’ve swallowed a golf ball…”
The doctor said, “Yes, I can see it’s gone down a fairway!”
How does Shrek like his eggs in the morning?
What’s the first thing wizards do in the morning?
They wake up!
Doctor, doctor! I’ve swallowed my pocket money!
Take this and we’ll see if there’s any change in the morning.