Time Jokes

Time flies when you're reading Beano's top time jokes! Don't waste your time, get laughing!

If you loved these, spend some time checking out our epic collection of maths jokes, teacher jokes or even some eye-opening English jokes

You can spend hours on Beano's great joke generator

What would a clock look like with no numbers?


I spent five minutes fixing the clock last night...

At least I think it was five minutes!

What do you call a clock on the moon?

A lunar tick!

What farm animal tells the time?

A watch dog!

What kind of bugs live in clocks?


Did you hear about the hungry clock?

It went back four seconds!

Why did the mother needle get mad at the baby needle?

It was past its thread time!

Why did the Grinch get a burglar alarm?

Because he needs to get up on time!

Einstein developed a theory about space...

About time too!

What time is it when an elephant steps on your golf ball?

Time to get a new ball!

I bought a Dalek egg timer recently...

After a few minutes, it shouts, "Eggs terminate!"

How does a witch tell the time?

She looks at her witch watch!

What's the best time to see your dentist?


What does Kermit say when he's enjoying dinner?

Time's fun when you're having flies!

What did mummy pasta say to baby pasta?

It’s pasta your bedtime!

Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?

He was perfecting his swing!

Have you ever tried to eat a clock?

It's very time consuming!

What's the best time to go to the bathroom?


What time do tennis players go to bed?


Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window?

He wanted to see time fly!

What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

A waist of time!

When do astronauts eat?

Launch time!

What farm animal keeps the best time?

A watch dog!

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