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26 Time Jokes To Keep The LOLz Ticking Over

Time flies when you're reading Beano's top time jokes! Don't waste your time, get laughing!

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Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  August 12th 2021

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What happens if you wear a watch on a plane?

Time flies!

For sale: Clock with half a face

...Limited time only!

I got a job in a watch factory, but it's not that hard

I just stand around all day making faces!

What would a clock look like with no numbers?

number jokes

Timeless!

I spent five minutes fixing the clock last night...

time jokes

At least I think it was five minutes!

What do you call a clock on the moon?

time jokes

A lunar tick!

What farm animal tells the time?

time jokes

A watch dog!

What kind of bugs live in clocks?

time jokes

Ticks!

Did you hear about the hungry clock?

time jokes

It went back four seconds!

Why did the mother needle get mad at the baby needle?

mother's day

It was past its thread time!

Why did the Grinch get a burglar alarm?

grinch jokes

Because he needs to get up on time!

Einstein developed a theory about space...

About time too!

What time is it when an elephant steps on your golf ball?

Time to get a new ball!

I bought a Dalek egg timer recently...

After a few minutes, it shouts, "Eggs terminate!"

How does a witch tell the time?

She looks at her witch watch!

What's the best time to see your dentist?

Tooth-hurty!

What does Kermit say when he's enjoying dinner?

Time's fun when you're having flies!

What did mummy pasta say to baby pasta?

It’s pasta your bedtime!

Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?

He was perfecting his swing!

Have you ever tried to eat a clock?

It's very time consuming!

What's the best time to go to the bathroom?

Poo-thirty!

What time do tennis players go to bed?

A smiling tennis ball

Tennish!

Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window?

Why did jokes

He wanted to see time fly!

What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

A waist of time!

When do astronauts eat?

Launch time!

What farm animal keeps the best time?

A watch dog!

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