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26 Time Jokes To Keep The LOLz Ticking Over

Time flies when you're reading Beano's top time jokes! Don't waste your time, get laughing!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:Β  November 9th 2021

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What happens if you wear a watch on a plane?

Time flies!

For sale: Clock with half a face

...Limited time only!

I got a job in a watch factory, but it's not that hard

I just stand around all day making faces!

What would a clock look like with no numbers?


number jokes

I spent five minutes fixing the clock last night...

At least I think it was five minutes!

time jokes

What do you call a clock on the moon?

A lunar tick!

time jokes

What farm animal tells the time?

A watch dog!

time jokes

What kind of bugs live in clocks?


time jokes

Did you hear about the hungry clock?

It went back four seconds!

time jokes

Why did the mother needle get mad at the baby needle?

It was past its thread time!

mother's day

Why did the Grinch get a burglar alarm?

Because he needs to get up on time!

grinch jokes

Einstein developed a theory about space...

About time too!

What time is it when an elephant steps on your golf ball?

Time to get a new ball!

How does a witch tell the time?

She looks at her witch watch!

What's the best time to see your dentist?


What does Kermit say when he's enjoying dinner?

Time's fun when you're having flies!

What did mummy pasta say to baby pasta?

It’s pasta your bedtime!

Why did Tarzan spend so much time on the golf course?

He was perfecting his swing!

Have you ever tried to eat a clock?

It's very time consuming!

What's the best time to go to the bathroom?


What time do tennis players go to bed?


A smiling tennis ball

Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window?

He wanted to see time fly!

Why did jokes

What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

A waist of time!

When do astronauts eat?

Launch time!

What farm animal keeps the best time?

A watch dog!

Next up: food jokes

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