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56 Mouse Jokes Which Are Cheese-Free

Mice to meet you! You'll be squeaking with laughter with these funny mouse jokes and puns...

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Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:Β  January 5th 2022

Mouse jokes from Beano's genius joke meisters (mice-ters)! And when you're done here, check out the rest of our animal jokes or get a random joke from the Joke Generator.

Where do mice drive?

On the road-ent!

What's a mouse's favourite food?

Bubble and squeak!

What's a rodent's favourite winter sport?

Mice skating!

What's cold and squeaks?

A mice-icle!

What's furry and secretive?

An anony-mouse!

What's hairy and squeaks?

A mouse-tache!

Why shouldn't you make a mouse angry?

Because they get furry-us!

What do mice send at Christmas?

Christmouse cards!

What do rodents put on their hotdogs?

Mouse-tard!

What do little mice read?

Fairy tails!

What do mice sit on?

Fur-niture!

What do you call a mouse who fixes teeth?

A rodentist!

What's a mouse's favourite Steven Spielberg movie?

Paws!

Why do mice eat cheese?

Yogurt is too messy!

What's a mouse's favourite action movie?

The Fast and the Furryious!

What's grey, furry and surfs the web?

A computer mouse!

I found my pet mouse Elvis in trouble

He was caught in a trap!

Why don't elephants like computers?

They're scared of the mouse!

What do a mouse and a hay bale have in common?

The cat'lle eat it!

What's grey and has a trunk?

A mouse going on holiday!

Why are mice so good at self portraits?

They really pay attention to de-tail!

What do mice use to play their music?

A wireless squeaker!

What's a cat's favourite dessert?

Chocolate mouse!

What did the cat say to the mouse?

'Catch you later!'

Where do rodents come from?

Miceland!

What does a mouse call a bat?

A show-off!

What hotel do fancy mice stay in?

The Stilton!

What's a rodent's favourite type of music?

Mouse trap!

What's a rodent's least favourite board game?

Mousetrap!

What makes mice so good at sewing?

Their tail-ors!

Why was the mouse nervous?

It was raining cats and dogs!

What do mice do when they move into a new place?

Have a mousewarming!

Have you heard the new mouse joke?

It's very cheesy!

What's a mouse's favourite plant?

Rodent-dendrum!

What's a rodent's favourite dessert?

Mice cream!

What kind of shoes do mice wear?

A cry laughing pineapple and and a laughing banana

Squeakers!

What kind of vehicle does a mouse drive?

A mini van!

What mouse was a Roman Emperor?

Julius Cheeser!

What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak?

Mouse code!

Why was the mouse afraid of swimming?

Catfish!

What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer?

Mice cubes!

What kind of cheese do mice like?

Mouserella!

What is small, furry, and brilliant at sword fights?

A mouseketeer!

Why do mice have long tails?

Well, they'd look silly with long hair!

Why do mice need oiling?

Because they squeak!

What's a mouse's least favourite song?

What's up Pussycat!

Why did the mouse stay inside?

Because it was raining cats and dogs!

Why does a mouse do the washing up?

To make it squeaky clean!

How do you get a mouse to smile?

Say cheese!

What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas?

Cross mouse cards!

What first aid do mice learn?

Mouse to mouse resuscitation!

What’s a mouse’s favourite game?

Hide and squeak!

How does a mouse feel after a bath?

Squeaky clean!

Why did Mickey Mouse fall over?

He had a Disney spell!

What do mice hate doing most?

Mousework!

When is it bad luck to see a black cat?

When you're a mouse!

A raccoon playing a guitar - follow the link from our mouse jokes to our animal jokes