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Lemon Jokes!

These jokes are simply the zest!

It’s time to squeeze every drop of funny we can out of these lively lemon jokes! If you’re in the mood for more citrus-based humour, perhaps also have a peek at our outlandish orange jokes, fantabulous fruit jokes or maybe some crazy cake jokes? not to mention the gaggle of giggles to be found on our jokes page!

Why was the lemon frustrated in the exam?

He couldn’t CONCENTRATE!

Why do lemons and limes fight?

Because they’re BITTER rivals!

How do you make a lemon drop?

Let it go!

How do you make a lemon puff?

Keep chasing it!

What did the lemon say after it sneezed?

Ex-SQUEEZE me!

Why did the lemon cut her journey short?

One-liner jokes

She ran out of JUICE!

The lemon peel disappeared…

…the ZEST is history!

Why was the lemon alone?

Because the banana SPLIT!

Why did the lemon go out with a prune?

Because he couldn’t find a DATE!

Why do lemons wear sun tan lotion?

Because if they don’t they’ll peel!

What do you get if you cross a lemon with a cat?

A SOUR PUSS!

Why did the lemon hate the lemonade factory?

It was SODA-pressing!

What did the lemon say to her girlfriend? 

You’re simply the ZEST!

Who helped the lemon rob a bank?

His partner in LIME!

What happened when the lemon got in a fight?

All hell broke JUICE!

What’s a snail’s favourite fruit?

Lemons and slimes!

The next person that asks me for a pineapple juice a cranberry juice and some lemonade with a slice of orange all in the same glass…

…is gonna get a punch!

What fruit is square and green?

A lemon in disguise!

What’s yellow and goes bzzz?

An electric lemon!

What does a lemon need when it hurts itself?

Lemon-aid!