Fruit Jokes

Check out this a-peel-ing bunch of funny fruit jokes!

Looking for some side-splittingly funny fruit gags? Well how d'you like these apples!

Still got a tingling in your funny bone? No problem - we've got vegetable jokes, avocado jokes... in fact pretty much all the jokes!

What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?

A baaaaaaaaaanana!

I really like boiling fruits for hours.

It’s my jam!

What fruit is square and green?

A lemon in disguise!

Time flies like an arrow...

Fruit flies like a banana!

I’d never eat trail mix without dried fruit in it...

That’s just nuts!

What is a vampire's favourite fruit?

A Neck-tarine!

What school subject is the fruitiest?

History - it’s full of dates!

What do you call a vanishing fruit?

A disap-pear!

What kind of shoes are made from banana peels?


Why did the tomato go out with a prune?

Because he couldn’t find a date!

How do you make an apple turnover?

Push it down a hill!

What do you put on a fruit's grave stone?


What's a scarecrow's favourite food?


A friend told me that all apples are yellow...

I told him, 'that's bananas!'

What's yellow and goes bzzz?

An electric lemon!

What did the banana say to the monkey?

Nothing, bananas can't talk!

What is Darth Vader's favourite fruit?

Ba-na-na-nas, ba-nanas, ba-nanas!

How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them!

Why did the banana go to the hospital?

It wasn't peeling well!

What do you give an injured fruit?


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