Crab Jokes

There's no need to pinch these crab jokes! I'm happy to share them. I'm not shellfish!

If you're having trouble making friends, these crab jokes will help you come out of your shell. They're clawsome!

If you're still feeling salty, then there's plenty more jokes in the sea jokes page, or even plunge into a pool of puns with our fresh water jokes. Then check out our whale jokes. You'll be blubbering with laughter!  In summary we have a whole load of jokes. Find them all on the jokey joke, joke page!






What do you call the greatest crab artist that ever lived?

Leonardo Da Pinchi. He was clawsome!

Excuse me does this restaurant serve crabs?

Take a seat, Sir. We serve everybody!

How did the limpet cross the river?

She took a taxi crab!

Customer (holding a crab under his arm) : "Waiter, Waiter Do you make crab cakes?" Waitor: "Yes we do."

Customer: "Good because it's his birthday."

What do crabs do on their birthdays?

They shellabrate!

Why did the crab blush?

It saw the bottom of the sea!

Where do crabs sleep?

On the sea bed

What do you call a crab that eats mince pies?

Santa Claws

What do crabs order when they go to a coffee shop?

A crabaccino

What would a crab do with a iPhone?

Shelfies!

Where do crabs save their money?

In a sand bank!

How does a crab feel after it's eaten too much seaweed?

Clawful!

What do you call a crab that throws things gently up in the air?

It's not a crab, it's a lobster!

What do you call an apple that walks sideways?

A crab apple

What did the crab say to the beached whale?

"Long time no sea!"

What do you call a pit stop that sells crabs and pizza?

A crust station!

Why did the crab never share?

Because he's shellfish!

Why was the crab arrested?

For pinching stuff!

More stuff