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61 Water Jokes That Are Shore To Make You Laugh!

Time to wade through our witty selection of whimsical water jokes... water way to pass the time!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  February 29th 2024

Ready for some wonderfully witty water gags? Then read on! Should you need even more H20 howls - check out these BRR-illliant snow jokes! Perhaps take a look at our winning weather jokes or our riotously rib-tickling rainbow jokes? If you've STILL not sufficiently wet yourself  - you can find plenty more jokes here! 

Does the ocean change colour if you pour orange soda into it?

No, that's just Fanta. See?

What's wet and silver and goes down stairs?

Slinky Spring water!

How do you close an envelope under water?

With a seal!

What do you get when you throw a million books into the sea?

A title wave!

What did the raindrop say to the garden?

Water you doing?

What do you call a deer that loves rainwater?

A rain-deer!

A reindeer sticking its tongue out

What do you call a squeaky river?

A creek!

What’s a sea monster’s favourite snack? 

Ships and dip!

Sailor Jokes
Sailor Jokes

Where do fish wash?

In the river basin!

How did the crab cross the river?

He took a taxi crab!

What do you call a melted snowman?


What happens if you throw a donut into the sea!

It gets wet!

Where can you find an ocean with no water?

On a map!

What did the guide say to the tourists when she spotted a shoe in the river?

Watch out for the Crocs!

How do you gift wrap a cloud?

Use a rainbow!

What helps to build an ark when it rains?

To Noah guy!

What do you call a car concentrating on crossing the river?

Fjord Focus!

What do you call a male dog floating in water?

A good buoy!

What kind of rocks are never under water?

Dry ones!

What do you call a spy in shallow water?

Pond. James Pond.

What did the swan say before leaving the lake?

Aboat time!

What did an impatient pot of water say to the noodles?


What did the sea say to the river?

You can run, but you can't tide!

A dolphin in the Nile river

My friend said “Imagine being stuck in a hole full of water..."

I know he means well!

What do mermaids sleep on?

Water beds!

A brightly coloured mermaid tail

Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?

It was a buoy!

Why did the ocean leave the party early?

They were getting really tide!

A crab at Blackpool beach

What do you call a bottle of water on the bottom shelf of a French supermarket?


A woman holding a sports bottle

What runs, but never walks?


What do you call a wet teddy bear?

A drizzly bear!

A blurred bear in Colorado

My friend’s taps didn’t work…

I sent him a Get Well Soon card!

Bacon jokes

What is another king’s favourite type of water?


When does it start to rain money?

When there 's change in the weather!

A man with a silly amount of cash

What happens when you get water on a table?

It becomes a pool table!

How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?

If it floats in water, it's buoyant!

Why does water never laugh at jokes?

It isn’t a fan of dry humour!

Who carries out operations in water?

A sturgeon!

What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?

Fowl weather!

There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water...

Number one. And number two!

Toilet Jokes
Toilet Jokes

Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?

They couldn’t stream the video!

H2O is water, but what is H2O4?

Swimming and drinking!

I'm going to start reviewing bottled water on Youtube...

It's an untapped market!

Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze!

A pony goes into a bar and whispers 'Can I have some water please?'. 'Sure' Says the waiter 'Sore throat?'

'No' says the pony, 'I'm just a little horse'

What happens when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?

You get hot cross bunnies!

What state does the Mississippi River flow in?


Bacon Dad visiting the Mississippi River

R.I.P boiled water...

You will be mist!

Someone asked for a donation towards the local swimming pool.

So I gave them a glass of water!

When are your eyes not eyes?

When the cold winter wind makes them water!

Someone peeking through blinds

Scientists have finally figured out what's at the bottom of the Mariana's Trench...


If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed!

What is the chemical formula for sea water?


What happens when a robot falls into muddy water?

It gets wet and muddy!

What android team won the Olympic watersports?

The rowbots!

Adele might set fire to rain...

But SpongeBob can make a campfire under water!

What did the explorer say when he found water in three different places in the desert?

Well, well, well!

A scorpion in the desert

What do you call a spaceship that drips water?

A crying saucer!

A chicken and a spaceship

What do you call a spy frog?

James Pond!

What is the fastest thing on water?

A motor-pike!

A man holding a stop watch at a large swimming pool

What can fly underwater?

A bee in a submarine!

Why did the teacher go to the beach?

To test the water!

Silly jokes