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Plum Jokes

These plum jokes will have you puce with laughter! Try out these funny plum jokes on your friends - we promise they won't sink like a plum (stone)! Enjoy!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  January 14th 2022

These punny plum jokes are very fruitful if you're looking for laughter! Tuck into these plum jokes and stop being such a prune! And if you liked these, we've got even more funny fruit jokes here! Or why not enjoy these sweet strawberry jokes? There's also some perfect pineapple jokes if you're looking for something more zesty! And as always, check out hundreds more jokes on our jokes hub!

Why did the elephant paint his toenails purple?

So he could hide in a plum tree!

What fruit is the fattest?

The plump!

When should you take a plum to dinner?

If you can't find a date!

What's the difference between a plum and a tomato?

They're both purple, except the tomato!

I really love purple fruit

I'm plum crazy!

How do you take care of a plum tree?

Prune it!

Did you hear the plum joke?

It was pitiful!

Prunes aren't my favourite food

But I always plump for them!

What does fruit do if it needs to hide its identity?

Uses a nom de plum!

What's purple and fixes sinks?

A plumber!

What do you call a plum in trouble?

A damson in distress!

What did the plumber do when all his work dried up?

Became a pruner!

Which fruit wears a tutu?

The sugar plum fairy!

Which fruit does well in pop charts?

The number plum!

Why did Miss Muffet pull a plum out of a pie?

She was in the wrong nursery rhyme!

I nearly choked on a plum stone today

It was the pits!

What's purple and is sitting in the corner of the room?

A naughty plum!

I had a meeting with a plum today

It was very fruitful!

What show features dancing fruit?

Strictly Plum Dancing!

Why did the worm leave the plum?

Because Noah said to travel in pairs!

What’s purple and hums?

A rotten plum!