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Weird Jokes

Looking for a laugh? Check out these funny weird jokes!

Are these jokes not weird enough for you? Take a gander at our extra funny jokes, our what-do-you-call-it jokes, or any of our thousands of other jokes!

Too many jokes! Gah!

What do you call someone who never farts in public?

A private tutor!

What do you call a guy with a rubber toe?


What’s red and shaped like a bucket?

A blue bucket painted red!

Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other…

Do you know how to drive this thing?

Why aren’t dogs good dancers?

They’ve got 2 left feet!

I just saw 200 rabbits walking backwards

It was a receding hare line!

Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze!

I hate Russian dolls.

They’re so full of themselves!

Did you hear about those blue and red ships that crashed at sea?

Their crews were marooned!

Why can’t you trust atoms?

They make up everything!

What do you call a fish with no eye?


What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot!

Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?

To make up for his miserable summer!

What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?

A stick!

How do you talk to giants?

Use big words!

What washes up on really small beaches?


What do you call a magic dog?

A Labracadabrador!

What do you call a seagull when it flies over a bay?

A bagel!

What sound does a weird duck make?

Quirk Quirk!

What did the pirate say when he turned 80?

Aye matey!