20 Totally Dis-arm-ing Arm Jokes!

Why should you thank your arms?

They’re always by your side!

Why should you never fight an octopus?

They’re too well-armed!

The date of my upper arm surgery was moved forward…

That’s a real wait off my shoulders!

I hurt my arm last week when I was digging for coal…

It’s okay, it was just a miner injury!

I knew a man with a broken arm named Graham…

No idea what his other arm was called!

Where was the one-armed man’s favourite place to shop?

The second-hand store!

What did the cast say to the broken arm?

“I’ve got you covered!”

Why can you always trust people with no arms?

They’ve got nothing up their sleeves!

Why can you always trust snakes?

They’re ‘armless!

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies!

Why are jokes about arm bones always great?

Because they’re humerus!

Why are people with one broken arm so good at everything?

They can do it all single-handedly!

Did you hear about the poker player who lost his arm and replaced it with a hook?

He’s finding it hard to deal with!

Did you hear about the man who asked a genie to give him longer arms?

I guess you could say it has far-reaching consequences!

My arms always hurt when I’m driving my colleagues to work and we go through a tunnel…

I think it’s carpool tunnel syndrome!

Why should you always perform arm amputations at the shoulder?

It’s twice as much work to cut off forearms!

What has no legs and one arm?

A happy shark!

I started reading a book called “The Pirate’s Arm”…

I'm hooked!

“Doctor doctor, I think I broke my arm in four places!”

“Well, I suggest you don’t go back to those four places!”

What do you call a group of arms?

An army!