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25 Hil-EAR-ious Ear Jokes!

These jokes will have you grinning from ear to ear!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  June 20th 2023

Ears! Odds are, you have a pair of them, and aren't they useful - how else would hear amazing jokes? We've rounded up some of the best jokes about ears for you - they're just EAR-resistable! Then afterwards, if you still need to hear more jokes, we've got LOADS for you! Try these toe-tally hilarious toe jokes, these cerebral brain jokes, and these nutty neck jokes!

I told my doctor I was deaf in my left ear. He said “Are you sure?”

I said, “I’m definite!”

What do you call an elephant made of ears?

The answer is entirely earelephant!

What do you call a bear with three ears?

A bearearear!

I tried to listen to the match the other day...

I just ended up burning my ear!

I had a strawberry growing out of my ear…

The doctor told me to put some cream on it!

What do you call someone who can hear things a hundred miles away?

A super-hear-o!

What’s it called when you have a jingling in your left ear but not your right?

Earring loss!

How do you make your ears pop?

Try some sparkly earrings!

Why can’t your earlobe be 12 inches long?

Because then it would be a foot!

“It’s a long tale…” said the snake…

“I’m all ears!” said the elephant!

I used to play guitar by ear…

Then I realised it was better to use my hands!

What do you call the night before an ear operation?

New Ears Eve!

I’ve never seen the inside of my ears…

But I've heard good things!

What do you call friends with Airpods?


What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?

Anything you want, he can't hear you!

Why did the pianist keep slamming his head on the keyboard?

He was playing by ear!

What kind of ears do trains have?


How do mountains hear?

With mountaineers!

A man goes to the doctor with jelly, cream and sponge cake in his ear…

The doctor says, “Looks like you’re a trifle deaf!”

A man goes to the doctor with lettuce sticking out of his ear…

The doctor says, “That’s just the tip of the iceberg!”

How many ears does Captain Picard have?

Three: his left ear, his right ear, and his Final Frontier!

How much does it cost for a pirate to pierce his ears?

A buccaneer!

What do you call a bear with a missing ear?


How do elephants stay cool in the jungle?

Ear conditioning!

Why don’t scarecrows share their secrets?

Because the corn has ears...