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Beano Comic

20 Battery Jokes To Help You Recharge!

Are you feeling a bit low on energy? If so, you need these amazingly energising battery jokes!

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Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  November 27th 2023

Are you feeling positive, or do you have a negative side? Are you interested in CURRENT affairs? Whatever you're feeling, you're sure to get a jolt of laughter from these brilliant battery jokes! Sit back and get recharged - we promise you'll love them! We've got so many other jokes, too - try some roof jokes, or maybe you'd like some electricity-free candle jokes?

Why shouldn’t you wave a red flag in front of a battery?

It'll charge!

A falling battery nearly killed a man today…

It was charged with attempted murder!

What did the judge say to the battery?

“You’re guilty as charged!”

Why do robots love pancakes?

Because they’re batter-y!

What’s a battery’s favourite fruit?

Currants!

The batteries in my torch ran out…

I’m not sad, I’m actually delighted!

What do you call it when you put batteries in the washing machine?

Clean energy!

Did you hear about the two kids caught playing with a firework and a battery?

The police charged one but let the other off!

Did you hear about the robot that went on a crime spree but ran out of battery?

The police are refusing to charge him!

I tried installing a calendar app, but I accidentally installed a colander app…

It keeps draining my battery!

Did you hear about the man found electrocuted, with only a car battery in the room?

Police are looking for leads!

May I offer you a dead battery?

They’re free of charge!

What do you call it when your battery is recharging?

Re-volting!

What does a battery say on his dating profile?

“I’m a pretty positive guy and I’m full of energy – but I do have a negative side!”

What has two hands, a face and is only ever right twice a day?

A clock with no batteries!

What happens when a battery commits a crime?

They get charged!

Did you hear about the battery thief?

He was charged on the spot!

Why are batteries never sad?

Because they're always positive!

What does a vampire’s torch run on?

Bat-teries!

What liquid will you find inside an iPhone battery?

Apple juice!