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20 Intelligent Jokes For Real Brainboxes!

These jokes are for boffins only! Are you smart enough for these very intelligent jokes? It's time to find out!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  November 20th 2023

Think you're smart enough for these intelligent jokes? Time to put your thinking caps on for these very clever jokes all about science, art and history! Are you intelligent enough? And if you liked these, how about some Doctor, Doctor jokes to make you feel better? Or maybe you're up for some ridiculous Royal Family jokes! It might even be time for some brilliant badger jokes! And if that's STILL not enough for you, we've got hundreds more laughs right here on our jokes hub!

Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?

All they said was 'Bach, Bach, Bach!'

Why don't photons check their luggage at the airport?

They're travelling light!

Descartes walks into a bar. 'Drink?' says the bartender

'I think not' says Descartes, and disappears!

Have you heard the joke about Pavlov's dog?

It rings a bell...

I asked the library if they had a book on Schrodinger's cat...

They weren't sure!

I don't like Russian dolls...

They're so full of themselves!

The element gold walks into a bar...

The barman says 'AU! Get out of here!'

The barman says 'We don't serve time travellers here'

A time traveller walks into a bar...

What did the DNA say to the RNA?

Do these genes suit me?

Knock knock. Who's there? To. To who?

Actually, it's 'To whom'!

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs...

They always take things literally!

Why should you never ask a Buddhist for change?

Because change comes from within!

What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?

I don't know and I don't care!

Did you know that in no language in the world can a double positive form a negative?

Yeah, right!

I'd like to make a chemistry joke...

But all the good ones argon!

How do you make a TV more intelligent?

Turn up the brightness!

What did the sign on the music shop say?

'Gone Chopin. Bach in a minuet!'

Why would it be madness to jump off a Paris bridge?

Because you'd be in Seine!

How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

C'est ne pas une lightbulb!

How did the signaller apologise?

In re-morse code!