Skip to main content

20 Beard Jokes That Are Hairy Funny!

These beard jokes will shave you from boredom! Check out these funny beard jokes and have a giggle!

🤣
Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  August 5th 2023

These beard jokes are HAIRY funny! We moustache that you check them out right away! And if you liked these, we've got loads more! May we point to these hilarious finger jokes? Or how about these bothersome brother jokes? We've even got these funny fridge jokes! And there's even more lols if you head to our main jokes hub!

My friend and I are competing to see who can grow the longest beard...

It's neck and neck!

What sort of beard does a pirate have?

A boat-ee!

Why did the burglar shave?

He wanted to be a smooth criminal!

I wanted to be a barber...

But I didn't make the cut!

What sort of beard do farmers have?

A goat-tee!

What should you do if you can't afford to trim your beard?

Hold a fund-razor!

Where do barbers put their money?

Their shavings account!

Why did the princess marry the prince with the beard?

She wanted a hairy-tale ending!

Why did the man keep his beard?

It grew on him!

What sort of hair does a nut have?

A mustachio!

Where can you go to get your beard trimmed and eat food?

A barber-que!

What sort of insults do bearded men give?

Side burns!

Who has a beard and can do magic?

Hairy Potter!

What sort of beard does a sheep have?

Mutton chops!

I'm looking for the perfect beard...

It's right under my nose!

I shaved my beard off...

All good things must comb to an end!

Why are barbers heroes?

They always shave the day!

What do astronauts grow?

Spacial hair!

Why did the hipster shave his beard?

To keep cool in the summer!

Where did the hairy robber keep his valuables?

His secret stache!