Chemistry Jokes

Check out Beano's golden collection of chemistry jokes! We're positive you'll love them!

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Do chemistry jokes make you sound smart?

NO!

Which elements do pirates like?

Aaaaargon and Gold!

What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you may as well barium!

Why do people call organic chemistry the meanest science?

Because it’s always pushing electrons around!

How Dreamwork's chemistry movie will be named?

How to train your Argon!

How often can you joke about chemistry?

Periodically!

If H2O is the formula for water, then what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed!

What is the chemical formula for sea water?

CH20!

Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na!

What did silver say to gold at the bar?

“Au, get outta here!”

What is HIJKLMNO?

H2O!

Carbon and hydrogen went on a date.

I heard they really bonded!

Why are chemists great for solving problems?

Because they always have a solution!

Why should you go shopping with neutrons?

Because wherever they go, there’s no charge!

Two atoms are walking down the street. One atom says to the other, “Hey! I think I lost an electron!”

The other asks, “Are you sure?” “Yes, I’m positive!”

What did one charged atom say to the other?

I've got my ION you!

Why can you never trust atoms?

They make up everything!

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He couldn't put it down!

What’s the dullest element?

Bohrium!

A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, “How much for a beer?”

The bartender gives him a smile and says, “For you, no charge!”

How do you cure a sick balloon?

You helium up!

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