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Clock Jokes

Don't be alarmed! This collection of hilarious clock gags is bound to put a smile on your face!

Everyone has time for these classic clock jokes! We’ve got plenty of other jokes too – from light bulb and guitar jokes to rainbow jokes and even fly jokes!

And if that’s not enough, just check out our amazing Joke Generator for a lifetime’s supply of great gags! Phew! That’s almost too many jokes!

What did digital watch say to Grandfather clock?

Look grandad, no hands!

For sale: Clock with half a face

…Limited time only!

Why did the girl throw her clock out the window?

To see time fly!

I used to have a friend who kept changing the sound that his alarm clock made.

I wonder what he’s getting up to now?

11:59:59 AM is my favourite time of day.

It’s second to noon!

When do ducks wake up?

At the quack of dawn!

What do you call a grandfather clock?

An old timer!

What do you get when you cross a clock and a chicken?

A cluck!

What did the robber say to the clock?

Hands up!

Scientists are doing a study into why beavers have clocks in their homes.

It’s about dam time!

What’s the best time?

6.30 – hands down!

You should never try to eat a clock

It’s very time-consuming!

What has eight arms and tells the time?

A clocktopus!

Why did the alarm clock get cross?

He was all WOUND UP!

What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A laughing watch face

A waist of time!

What would a clock look like with no numbers?

number jokes

Timeless!

I spent five minutes fixing the clock last night…

time jokes

At least I think it was five minutes!

What do you call a clock on the moon?

time jokes

A lunar tick!

What kind of bugs live in clocks?

time jokes

Ticks!

What goes “hick-hock”?

Funny jokes

A clock with hiccups!