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Howl With Laughter At These 20 Dachshund Jokes & Puns

Prepare to Howl with Laughter at these Hilarious Dachshund Jokes & Puns!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  August 11th 2022

To some people they’re Dachshunds, to other people they’re Sausage Dogs, but to us they will always be the funniest looking dogs in the park. These funny Dachshund jokes are going to send your friends barking mad with laughter! Take the lead in your dog chat and drop a couple of these puppy puns into the conversation! Your friends will be begging for more and rolling over with merriment! Then check out some of our other dog doings: You could finally find out why dogs eat grass discover 15 things about Chihuahuas or if you prefer your dogs a bit squashier than a dachshund, have a gigle at our pawsome pug jokes.

How do you know if that missed call was from a dachshund?

Check it’s collar I.D!

What do you call a cold dachshund? 

A Chilli Dog!

What’s the difference between a sausage dog and a marine biologist? 

One wags a tail, the other tags a whale!

My sausage dog is very angry and badly trained…

I fear the wurst!

What do you get when you cross a dachshund and an abacus? 

A friend you can count on!

What do you call a sausage dog who refused to go on walkies?

Pulled pork!

Why do famous dachshunds hate their fans?

They don’t like being hounded!

What do you give a dachshund with a temperature?

Mustard...It’s the best thing for a hot dog

Where do dachshunds park their cars? 

Barking lots!

What’s a dachshund’s favourite musical instrument?

A trom-bone!


They are the wurst!

What do you call a zombie dachshund?

A halloweiner dog!

How do you stop your dachshund from barking in your front garden?

Put him in your backgarden!

What should you do if you find your dachshund eating your English homework?

Take the words right out of his mouth!

Why are dachshunds bad dancers?

Because they have two left feet!

Why is a dachshund like a giant redwood?

They both have a LOT of bark.

Dachshunds are smarter than huskies!

You’d never see a sausage dog pulling a sled! 

Dachshunds will be remembered as the greatest dogs…

History is written by the weiners!

Why did the cowboy buy a dachshund?

He had to get a long little doggy!

Why does my Dachshund race to the door when the doorbell goes?

It’s hardly ever for him!