Dracula Jokes!

Love vampires and spooky gags? Then check out these funny Dracula jokes!

Funny Dracula jokes are just our bag, and we hope you enjoy these we've managed to unearth for you.

You'll also want to stop by our fang-tastic vampire jokes, check out these great ghost jokes and feast your eyes on these spooktacular Halloween jokes.

Plus you'll find even more jokes using our joke generator!

Why did Dracula order a takeaway?

He just fancied a bite!

How does Dracula get home in the evening?

On the fright bus!

Why couldn’t Dracula go to the party?

He was up to his neck in work?

Why didn’t Dracula bet on the horse race?

The stakes were too high!

Why is Dracula called The Count?

Because he loves maths so much!

Why did Dracula get detention at school?

The teacher said he was a pain in the neck.

Why do vampires not attack chickens?

Their blood is fowl!

What does Dracula like to watch on TV?


Which drink makes Dracula run a mile?

Sunny Delight!

What do you call a peckish vampire slayer?


Why wasn’t Dracula very good in art class?

He could only draw blood!

Why did Dracula become vegetarian?

He didn’t like steaks!

Why did Dracula have to visit the doctor?

He was always coffin!

Where does Dracula like to get washed?

In the bat tub!

What do you call Dracula if he sneezes?

The Pollen Count!

What is a vampire’s favourite fizzy drink?


Which girl is Dracula most afraid of?


What position does Dracula like to play in cricket?


What do you call Dracula if he’s shopping for bargains?

Discount Dracula!

What did Dracula say when he received a present?

Fangs a lot!

Halloween Jokes

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