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22 Dracula Jokes For Your Necks Laugh

Love vampires and spooky gags? Then check out these funny Dracula jokes!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  August 9th 2021

Funny Dracula jokes are just our bag, and we hope you enjoy these we've managed to unearth for you.

You'll also want to stop by our fang-tastic vampire jokes, check out these great ghost jokes and feast your eyes on these spooktacular Halloween jokes.

Plus you'll find even more jokes using our joke generator!

What happened when Dracula uploaded copyrighted content to YouTube?

A count suspended!

Are there any Halloween monsters who are good at maths?

Nope, unless you Count Dracula!

Dracula and maths equipment

Why did Dracula order a burger?

He just fancied a quick bite!

Dracula eating a burger

How does Dracula get home in the evening?

On the fright bus!

A dog dressed as Dracula

Why couldn’t Dracula go to the party?

He was up to his neck in work?

Sad Dracula

Why didn’t Dracula bet on the horse race?

The stakes were too high!

Two houses laughing

Why is Dracula called The Count?

Because he loves maths so much!

Dracula and maths equipment

Why did Dracula get detention at school?

The teacher said he was a pain in the neck.

A teacher

Why do vampires not attack chickens?

Their blood is fowl!

A chicken

What does Dracula like to watch on TV?


Dracula on TV

Which drink makes Dracula run a mile?

Sunny Delight!

Dracula and orange juice

What do you call a peckish vampire slayer?


Sausage roll

Why wasn’t Dracula very good in art class?

He could only draw blood!

A red pencil

Why did Dracula become vegetarian?

He didn’t like steaks!

Dracula and a steak

Why did Dracula have to visit the doctor?

He was always coffin!

A cool vampire

Where does Dracula like to get washed?

In the bat tub!

Dracula in the bath

What do you call Dracula if he sneezes?

The Pollen Count!


What is a vampire’s favourite fizzy drink?


A vampire drinking pop through a straw

Which girl is Dracula most afraid of?


What position does Dracula like to play in cricket?


Cricket ball

What do you call Dracula if he’s shopping for bargains?

Discount Dracula!

Dracula with shopping

What did Dracula say when he received a present?

Fangs a lot!

Vampire fangs
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