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42 Dracula Jokes For Your Necks Laugh

Love vampires and spooky gags? Then check out these funny Dracula jokes!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  February 17th 2023

Now you might not think that having all your blood drained by an ill-looking posho in a cape sounds that amusing... but you'd be wrong! These 42 spine-tingling, Transylvanian jokes and one-liners prove that Count Dracula is indeed the funniest Halloween villain out there!

Don't believe us? Well prepare to be proved wrong as we start reeling off these hilarious Count Dracula jokes! Find out why the Count went veggie, why he got a detention, or what you get when you cross a snowman with Count Dracula! And many more horrifyingly hilarious gags!

Funny Dracula jokes are just our bag, and we hope you enjoy these that we've managed to unearth for you.

You'll also want to stop by our fang-tastic vampire jokes, check out these great ghost jokes and feast your eyes on these spooktacular Halloween jokes.

Plus you'll find even more jokes using our joke generator!

Ok, head on down to our crypt of Count Dracula jokes, and prepare to laugh and shudder in equal measure! *evil laugh*

What’s Dracula’s favorite flavor of ice cream?


What do you call a vampire in a raincoat?

Count Mack-ula!

Where does Dracula go on holiday?

The Isle of Fright!

Where does Dracula water ski?

On Lake Eerie!

Why did Dracula turn veggie?

He heard that steak was bad for his heart!

What song does Dracula hate most?

You Are My Sunshine!

Why doesn’t anybody like Dracula?

He has a bat temper!

Who did Dracula take to prom?

His ghoulfriend!

What Pokémon is Dracula always trying to catch?


Why did Dracula join the circus?

He wanted to be an acro-bat!

Dracula isn't just a vampire...

He's also a neck-romancer!

Why does no one like Dracula?

Because he's a pain in the neck!

What happened when Dracula uploaded copyrighted content to YouTube?

A count suspended!

Are there any Halloween monsters who are good at maths?

Nope, unless you Count Dracula!

Dracula and maths equipment

Why did Dracula order a burger?

He just fancied a quick bite!

Dracula eating a burger

How does Dracula get home in the evening?

On the fright bus!

A dog dressed as Dracula

Why couldn’t Dracula go to the party?

He was up to his neck in work?

Sad Dracula

Why didn’t Dracula bet on the horse race?

The stakes were too high!

Two houses laughing

Why is Dracula called The Count?

Because he loves maths so much!

Dracula and maths equipment

Why did Dracula get detention at school?

The teacher said he was a pain in the neck.

A teacher

Why do vampires not attack chickens?

Their blood is fowl!

A chicken

What does Dracula like to watch on TV?


Dracula on TV

Which drink makes Dracula run a mile?

Sunny Delight!

Dracula and orange juice

What do you call a peckish vampire slayer?


Sausage roll

Why wasn’t Dracula very good in art class?

He could only draw blood!

A red pencil

Why did Dracula become vegetarian?

He didn’t like steaks!

Dracula and a steak

Why did Dracula have to visit the doctor?

He was always coffin!

A cool vampire

Where does Dracula like to get washed?

In the bat tub!

Dracula in the bath

What do you call Dracula if he sneezes?

The Pollen Count!


What is a vampire’s favourite fizzy drink?


A vampire drinking pop through a straw

Which girl is Dracula most afraid of?


What position does Dracula like to play in cricket?


Cricket ball

What do you call Dracula if he’s shopping for bargains?

Discount Dracula!

Dracula with shopping

What did Dracula say when he received a present?

Fangs a lot!

Vampire fangs

What did Dracula say to the giraffe?

I think I'm going to need a straw!

What is Dracula's favourite dance?

The fang-dango!

What did Postman Pat deliver to Dracula?

Letters from his fang club!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?


Why did Dracula brush his teeth?

He had bat breath!

Large vampire fangs

What is Dracula’s favourite dog?

A bloodhound!

How does Dracula stay fit?

He plays batminton!

Which November holiday is Dracula’s favourite?


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