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22 Dracula Jokes For Your Necks Laugh

Love vampires and spooky gags? Then check out these funny Dracula jokes!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  August 9th 2021

Funny Dracula jokes are just our bag, and we hope you enjoy these we've managed to unearth for you.

You'll also want to stop by our fang-tastic vampire jokes, check out these great ghost jokes and feast your eyes on these spooktacular Halloween jokes.

Plus you'll find even more jokes using our joke generator!

What happened when Dracula uploaded copyrighted content to YouTube?

A count suspended!

Are there any Halloween monsters who are good at maths?

Dracula and maths equipment

Nope, unless you Count Dracula!

Why did Dracula order a burger?

Dracula eating a burger

He just fancied a quick bite!

How does Dracula get home in the evening?

A dog dressed as Dracula

On the fright bus!

Why couldn’t Dracula go to the party?

Sad Dracula

He was up to his neck in work?

Why didn’t Dracula bet on the horse race?

Two houses laughing

The stakes were too high!

Why is Dracula called The Count?

Dracula and maths equipment

Because he loves maths so much!

Why did Dracula get detention at school?

A teacher

The teacher said he was a pain in the neck.

Why do vampires not attack chickens?

A chicken

Their blood is fowl!

What does Dracula like to watch on TV?

Dracula on TV


Which drink makes Dracula run a mile?

Dracula and orange juice

Sunny Delight!

What do you call a peckish vampire slayer?

Sausage roll


Why wasn’t Dracula very good in art class?

A red pencil

He could only draw blood!

Why did Dracula become vegetarian?

Dracula and a steak

He didn’t like steaks!

Why did Dracula have to visit the doctor?

A cool vampire

He was always coffin!

Where does Dracula like to get washed?

Dracula in the bath

In the bat tub!

What do you call Dracula if he sneezes?


The Pollen Count!

What is a vampire’s favourite fizzy drink?

A vampire drinking pop through a straw


Which girl is Dracula most afraid of?


What position does Dracula like to play in cricket?

Cricket ball


What do you call Dracula if he’s shopping for bargains?

Dracula with shopping

Discount Dracula!

What did Dracula say when he received a present?

Vampire fangs

Fangs a lot!

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