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14 Funny Vampire Jokes to Sink Your Teeth Into

Fang-tastically funny vampire jokes for Halloween!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  July 1st 2021

Sink your teeth into these funny vampire jokes from Beano!

If draining these doesn't fill you up, fly on over to our monster jokes and ghost jokes for more Halloween LOLz.

The Beano Joke Generator is here year-round for jokes on any subject!

Why do vampires never wear make-up?

Because they can't see their reflection!

What's a vampires favourite lipstick shade?

Blood red!

What's a vampire's favourite ice cream flavour?


What's a vampire's favourite treat?

Haribo fang-tastics!

What is Dracula's favourite dance?

The fang-dango!

What did Postman Pat deliver to Dracula?

Letters from his fang club!

Did you hear abut the vampire who got a pet dog?

He'd always wanted a bloodhound!

Why are vampires unpopular?

They're a pain in the neck!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?


Doctor, doctor! They are saying in the waiting room that you've become a vampire...

Necks please!

What kind of letters do vampires get?

Fang mail!

What do you get if you cross a teacher with a vampire?

A blood test!

Why did Dracula brush his teeth?

He had bat breath!

Large vampire fangs

How do vampires get into houses?

Through the bat flap!

A witch rolling her eyes linking through to Halloween jokes from vampire jokes