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Ghost Jokes

Ghoulishly funny Halloween ghost jokes from the Beano to the grave…

These ghost jokes are solid! And we’ve got plenty, plus an epic selection of monster jokes, vampire jokes and spooky Halloween jokes. Check them out!

Who was the ghost WhatsApping?

A smiling skull

His GHOUL-friend!

What do ghosts wear if they can’t see?

Spooktacles!

Where do ghouls send their post?

The Ghost Office!

What’s a ghost’s favourite game?

A grinning white ghost

Hide and shriek!

What sort of make up do ghosts wear?

Mas-SCARE-a!

Where do ghosts go shopping?

A spooky looking bat flying in a haunted looking forest

At the ghost-ery shop!

How do ghosts like their eggs?

Terrifried!

Why didn’t the ghost eat his candy corn?

He didn’t have the stomach for it!

How do ghosts put foundation on?

They brush with death!

What do ghosts serve at dinner parties?

Poultry-geist!

Where does a ghost like to party?

Anywhere he can party!

Who did the scary ghost invite to his party?

Any old friend he could dig up!

What does a panda ghost eat?

Bam-boo!

What’s a ghost’s favourite makeup product?

Concealer!

Where do ghost’s buy their food?

At the ghostery store?

What do ghosts do at sleepovers?

They tell scary human stories!

What do ghosts eat for dinner?

Spookhetti!

What’s a ghost’s favourite dessert?

Booberry Pie!

What do ghosts dress up as for Halloween?

Poca-haunt-us!

Local team of ghosts have taken up rugby.

They are excellent at scoring drop ghouls!

What did the ghost teacher say to the class?

Look at the board and I will go through it again!

What would you find on a haunted beach?

A white ghost in a garden surrounded by Halloween pumpkins

A sand-witch!

What kind of ghost has the best hearing?

The eeriest!

What do you call a ghost comedian?

Dead funny!

Do you know the Ghostbusters’ catchphrase in Italian?

I ain’t alfredo no ghost!

What do ghosts eat for dinner?

Spook-hetti!

What is a ghost’s favourite pudding?

I-scream!

How did Scrooge end up with the football?

The ghost of Christmas passed!

What do you call a ghost who haunts fireplaces?

A toasty ghosty!

When do ghosts eat breakfast?

In the moaning!

Why did the ghost go to the sales?

He was a bargain haunter!

On what day are ghosts most scary?

Fright-day!

Which Shakespeare play do ghosts like best?

Romeo and Ghoul-iet!

What do you call broccoli when it becomes a ghost?

An upside down broccoli on a green background

Cauliflower!

What do ghosts put on their turkey?

Grave-y!

What was the ghost’s best position?

Ghoulkeeper!

What tool helps a ghost lie perfectly flat?

A spirit level!

Why are ghosts bad at telling lies?

You can see right through them!

What should you say if you meet a ghost?

“How do you boo?”

How do ghosts fly?

British Scareways!

What do you find up a ghost’s nose?

Boogers!

What do you do when 50 ghosts visit your house?

Hope it’s Halloween!

What ghosts haunt hospitals?

Surgical spirits!

What’s the one room a ghost doesn’t need in its house?

A living room!

Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party?

He had no body to go with!

What are ghosts’ favourite trees?

Ceme-trees!

Why did the ghost go to the theatre?

To see a phantomime!

What do ghosts say to their children?

Spook when you’re spooken to!

What did the daddy ghost say to the baby ghost?

Fasten your sheet belt!

A witch pulling a funny face - link to funny Halloween jokes from our ghost jokes