50+ Dead Funny Halloween Jokes

Scoop maximum trick or treat loot with Beano's best ever spooky Halloween jokes. They're (un) dead funny!

These dead jokes are alive and kicking! Yep, we've got tons of dead funny Halloween jokes that will get even the undead gasping with laughter. We've also got a gaggle of ghost jokes, very funny vampire jokes, eye-watering witch jokes and mega monster jokes!

Why can't Frankenstein fly?

He never makes it through the metal detector!

What game do monsters play?

Hide and shriek!

What kind of streets do zombies prefer?

Dead ends!

What do little monsters call their parents?

Mummy and Dead-y!

What's a mummy's favourite kind of music?


Why did the zombie stay home from school?

He felt rotten!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?


Doctor, doctor! They are saying in the waiting room that you've become a vampire...

Necks please!

Why did the witch go to the doctor?

She had a dizzy spell!

How do you make a witch itch?

Take away the 'w'!

What kind of letters do vampires get?

Fang mail!

Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I’m a vampire!

Necks, please!

What do you get if you cross a teacher with a vampire?

A blood test!

How do vampires get into houses?

Through the bat flap!

Why did the vampire brush his teeth?

He had bat breath!

Where do you find a monster snail?

At the end of a monster's finger!

What do ghosts say to their children?

Spook when you're spooken to!

What do you use to mend a jack-o-lantern?

A pumpkin patch!

How can you tell if there’s a monster in your fridge?

You can't shut the door!

What do you call witches who lift-share?


If you liked this, then you should try watching REVEALED: The Ghosts Haunting This School!

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