Halloween Jokes

Dead funny Halloween jokes that will get even the undead gasping with laughter - only the best Halloween jokes for fans of Beano!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?


Doctor, doctor! They are saying in the waiting room that you've become a vampire...

Necks please!

Why did the witch go to the doctor?

She had a dizzy spell!

How do you make a witch itch?

Take away the 'w'!

What kind of letters do vampires get?

Fang mail!

Doctor, doctor! I keep thinking I’m a vampire!

Necks, please!

What do you get if you cross a teacher with a vampire?

A blood test!

How do vampires get into houses?

Through the bat flap!

Why did the vampire brush his teeth?

He had bat breath!

Where do you find a monster snail?

At the end of a monster's finger!

What do ghosts say to their children?

Spook when you're spooken to!

What do you use to mend a jack-o-lantern?

A pumpkin patch!

How can you tell if there’s a monster in your fridge?

You can't shut the door!

What do you call witches who lift-share?


What do you do with a green monster?

Wait until it's ripe!

What did the daddy ghost say to the baby ghost?

Fasten your sheet belt!

What is Dracula’s favourite dog?

A bloodhound!

What happened to the bad-tempered witch?

She flew off the handle!

How does Dracula stay fit?

He plays batminton!

Why did the skeleton quit?

His heart wasn't in it!

If you liked this, then you should try watching Ghost Jokes

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