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Ultimate 20 Best Pumpkin Jokes & One-Liners 2022

I'm the pumpkin pun-king and I'm pretty gourd at writing funny pumpkin jokes.

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  October 6th 2022

Have a slice of humble (pumpkin) pie, sit back and listen to me, the pumpkin pun-king, squash you with my gourd-like comedy talents!

If you're looking for some more frightfully funny jokes try our halloween humour, monster mirth makers and living-dead-funny zombie jokes. And yes, we also do jokes about non-scary things too.

Why was the pumpkin not allowed to fly a plane?

It didn't have a pie-lot's licence!

A cry laughing pumpkin

What do you get if you eat too much pumpkin pie?

Autumn-y ache!

3 open mouthed Pumpkins

Did you hear about the man who got crushed by a pumpkin?

He was squashed!

What do you call the head business Pumpkin?

The Chairman of the Gourd!

What's a pumpkin's favourite genre?

Pulp fiction!

Laughing pumpkin

What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin!

A laughing chicken and dog

What’s a pumpkin’s favourite drink?

Orange Squash

What does a Pumpkin pirate wear over its eye?

A pumpkin patch!

Why do people always choose Pumpkins by size?

Gourd big or go home!

What did the Pumpkin say to the handsome baker?

I only have pies for you.

What did the Pumpkin say to her girlfriend?

You're gourdgeous!

What do you call a really funny pumpkin?

A pun-king!

What did the scoop say to the pumpkin?

Happy Hollow-ween

Who lives at the North Pole, makes toys and rides around in a pumpkin?


elf jokes

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?

Pumpkin pi!

A pumpkin pie

What did Cinderella say when her carriage turned into a pumpkin?

Oh my gourd!

How did Cinderella get to be so strong?

By pumpkin iron!

Why couldn't Cinderella use horses to pull the Pumpkin Coach?

Because they were too busy playing stable tennis!

Why can’t Cinderella play football?

Her coach is a pumpkin!

What do you use to mend a jack-o-lantern?

A pumpkin patch!

Halloween Jokes