EA Jokes

Where did Miley Cyrus lose her glass slipper?

At the Wrecking Ball!

What sings and is always sunny?

Miley Cyprus!

Who sings and always looks happy?

Smiley Cyrus!

What happens when Miley Cyrus eats too many beans?

Farty in the USA!

What is Miley Cyrus called in the rest of the world?

Kilometery Cyrus

Did you hear about the new Miley Cyrus, Billie Eilish & Carly Rae Jepsen super-group?

They're called Billie Rae Cyrus!

What do you get when you cross Miley Cyrus with an alligator?

A caiman like a wrecking ball!

What did Miley Cyrus say when she wanted to bake a cake?

'I can buy myself flour!'

What did Miley Cyrus say when she got out of the time machine?

'I feel so much younger now!'

What's yellow and sings?

Banana Montana!

Who’s there? Hal. Hal who? 

Hal will you know if you don’t open the door?   

Knock knock! Who’s there? A herd. A herd who? 

A herd you were home, so I came right over!

Knock knock! Who’s there? Gladys. Gladys who?

Gladys the weekend!

Knock knock! Who’s there? Adam. Adam who?

Knock knock! Who’s there? Abe. Abe who? 

Abe CDEFJH...

Knock knock! Who's there? Says. Says who?

Says me, that's who!

Knock knock! Who’s there? Annie. Annie who? 

Canoe come out and play with me?

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gorilla. Gorilla who?

Gorilla me a hamburger, I’m hungry!

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Lena. Lena who?

Lena little closer and I’ll tell you!

Knock knock! Who’s there? Avenue. Avenue who?

Avenue told this joke before?

Knock knock! Who’s there? Winnie. Winnie who?

Winnie you going to open the door?

Knock knock! Who’s there? Yoda lady. Yoda lady who?

Good yodelling skills!

Knock knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who?

Orange you going to answer the door?

Knock knock! Who’s there? Doris. Doris who?

Doris locked, that’s why I’m knocking

Knock knock! Who’s there? Cargo. Cargo who?

Car go beep beep, vroom vroom!

Knock knock! Who’s there? Candice. Candice who?

Candice door open, or what?

Knock knock! Who’s there? Beets. Beets who?

Beets me!

Knock knock! Who’s there? Alpaca. Alpaca who?

Alpaca the suitcase, you load up the car!

Wednesday's cello loves telling jokes

It's a stand up bass!

Knock knock! Who’s there? Atch. Atch who?

Bless you!

How did Enid try to improve her spelling?

By selling her soul to Santa!

What's the Thing's favourite tree?

A palm tree!

Did you hear Gomez disappeared at the butter factory?

It was an unfortunate churn of events!

Why was Wednesday proud to work at the funeral home?

It was a big undertaking!

Wednesday learnt some swear words from Uncle Fester's son

He's always a cousin!

What happened when Thing got in trouble with the Police?

It got put under a wrist!

Where does Wednesday get her super strength?

From all that heavy music!

Did you hear Wednesday got a job as a computer security specialist?

She's hackin' in a coffin!

Which member of the Addams Family loves memes?

It is Wednesday, my dudes!

What do you call a zen Easter egg?

An ommmmmmlette!

What do you call an Easter egg from outer space?

An egg-straterrestrial!

Where do Easter eggs come from?

Eggplants!

Why shouldn't you tell an Easter egg a joke?

In case it cracks up!

Why couldn't the Easter egg sleep?

It was too egg-cited!

Why do we paint Easter eggs?

Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!

How can you find the Easter Bunny on a map? 

Eggs marks the spot!

What do Easter eggs drink at breakfast time?

Eggs-presso!

Why did the Easter egg get booed off the comedy stage?

All their yolks were bad!

Where's the best place to learn bout Easter eggs?

The hen-cyclopedia!

How do you get in touch with the easter bunny?

By hare mail!

What stories does the Easter bunny tell?

Yolk stories!

What do you get when you cross a rabbit with shellfish?

An oyster bunny!

How does the Easter bunny feel after Easter?

Egg-sausted!

How can you tell if the easter bunny is getting old?

Look for the grey hares!

How does the Easter bunny travel?

By hare plane!

Who does the Easter bunny deliver to in space?

An egg-straterrestrial!

What happens if you take away the Easter bunny's eggs?

He gets hopping mad!

What happens if you pour warm water down a rabbit hole?

You get a hot cross bunny!

How does the Easter bunny get around?

He uses the egg-press lane!

What does it mean if you find a horseshoe on St Patrick's day?

A horse has lost his shoe!

Why are leprechauns so good at gardening?

They've got green thumbs!

What did the policeman say on St Patrick's day?

Irish stew in the name of the law!

Knock knock. Who's there? Irish. Irish who?

Irish you a happy St Patrick's day!

What's a leprechaun's favourite music?

Sham-rock and roll!

Why are leprechauns against climate change?

They like to go green!

Why did St Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland?

It was too far to walk!

What did St Patrick say as he was driving the snakes out of Ireland?

'Yous alright in the back there lads?'

What do you call a spider on St Patrick's day?

Paddy Long Legs!

When does a leprechaun cross the road?

When its green!

What kind of bow can't be tied?

A rainbow!

What did one Irish ghost say to the other?

'Top of the moaning to you!'

Who is St Patrick's favourite superhero?

Green Lantern!

Who catches lepre-cons?

Under-clover cops!

How do you know if St Patrick liked your joke?

He's Dublin over with laughter!

What do you call a fake Irish diamond?

A sham rock!

What's Irish and sits outside?

Paddy O' Furniture!

What do you get if you cross Christmas and St Patrick's day?

St O' Claus!

Why shouldn't you iron a four leaf clover?

You might press your luck!

How do piglets wake their mum up on Mother’s Day?

With hogs and kisses!

What did the egg say on Mother's Day?

Omelette you have a lie in!

What was Cleopatra’s favourite day of the year?

Mummy's Day!

What did the sandwich say to her child?

Would you like a bread-time story?

Why was the mother firefly so happy?

Because her children were so bright!

What do you call a sweet gift that arrives the day after Mother's Day?

Choco-late!

Why did the sailor give their mum a voucher for Mother's Day?

So they could choose something nice in the sails!

Why was the strawberry late for their Mother's Day lunch?

They got stuck in a jam!

How did the panda open her Mother’s Day card?

With her bear hands!

Why couldn't the pirate call his mum on Mother’s Day

She'd left the phone off the hook!

Why do sons never forget Mother's Day?

Because it always falls on a son day!

Why do dentists buy the most presents on Mother's Day?

They love toothy her smile!

What do you call a gift with feathers?

A Mother's Day pheasant!

What did the mother tomato say to her children?

Ketchup!

Why was the ice cream sad?

Their mum was a wafer ages!

What do you call a mum who can't draw?

Tracy!

Why are computers so smart?

They listen to their motherboard!

What are the best flowers to buy for Mother's Day?

Chrysanthemums!

What did the mother spider say to her children?

You're spending too much time on the web!

What did the mother horse say to their foal?

It's way pasture bedtime!

What did the baby corn say to the mother corn?

Where's popcorn?

Whose dad can jump higher than a skyscraper?

Any dad. Skyscrapers can’t jump!

Why did the dad take his clock to the vet?

It had ticks!

Why does a dad lead a dog's life?

He comes in with muddy feet, lies on the sofa, and waits for a snack!

Why did the dad sell the vacuum cleaner?

It was just gathering dust!

Dad, I'm hungry!

Hi Hungry, I'm Dad!

What did the dad say when he spilled his soup over himself?

Tonight, dinner's on me!

When does a joke become a dad joke?

When it becomes apparent!

Why do dads take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?

In case they get a hole in one!

What did the dad tomato say to his son who was trailing behind?

Ketchup, son!

What did the buffalo say to his son before he left for school?

Bison!

Why did Batman stop going fishing with Robin?

Robin kept eating all the worms!

Why did the fisherman buy a bunch of flowers?

He was going to meet his gillfriend!

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fsh!

Why did the Great White get into trouble?

It was being shark-astic!

What grade did the fish get in their exam?

A sea!

What do you call a baby bat?

A battle!

What did the bat do when it was bored?

Just hung around!

What's the first thing a bat does when they wake up?

Go to the bat-room!

What did the bat study at university?

Echo-comics!

Where do bats carry their school books?

In their bat pack!

Which piece of sports equipment always comes out at night?

A cricket bat!

What's the first thing a vampire bat reads in the newspaper?

Their horror scope!

How do bats find their way home?

Bat Nav!

How many bats does it take to lift a person?

One massive one!

Where do rabbits go when they aren't feeling well?

The hops-spital!

What do you call a really clever rabbit?

A hare brain!

Where did the rabbit go for a trim?

The hare dressers!

How did the rabbit keep fit?

By going to hare-obics classes!

Why did the rabbit become a stand up comic?

Because they were totally bunny!

Why are rabbits so lucky?

They've got four rabbit's feet!

What do you call a man with rabbits in his jumper?

Warren!

Where do rabbits learn how to fly a plane ? 

The Royal Hare Force!

What do you call a rabbit dressed in green holding a bow and arrow?

Rabbit Hood!

What does a rabbit do in the rain?

Get drenched!

Why couldn’t the duck work for the Easter Bunny?

He quacked his eggs!

What would you get if you crossed a rabbit with a famous French general?

Napoleon Bunnyparte!

What did the rabbit say to the piece of wood?

It was nice gnawing you!

Why did the rabbit not bother eating their carrot?

No bunny knows!

What does every rabbit fairytale story end with?

"And they lived hoppily ever after..."

How does a rabbit keep looking neat and tidy?

With hare spray!

What do rabbits do after they're married?

Go on their bunnymoon!

What do you call a rabbit in a kilt? 

Hopscotch!

Why are rabbits similar to a coin?

Because it has a head on one end and a tail on the other!

Why is a broken tap like a scared rabbit?

Because it runs very quickly and doesn't look like it'll stop!

What do you get if you cross a rabbit and an insect?

Bug Bunny!

What's a rabbit's favourite mode of transport?

Hareplane!

What do Gnasher and Dennis's school books have in common?

They're both dog-eared!

Why did Gnasher not win the dancing competition?

He's got two left feet!

Which two words does Gnasher fear the most?

Bath time!

Who gave Gnasher some money for his baby teeth?

The tooth hairy!

What's Gnasher's favourite time of year?

Howl-oween!

What do you call Gnasher when he's dug up a fossil?

A barkaeologist!

What do you call Gnasher after he's spent the day on the London Underground?

Well trained!

Why did Gnasher sit in front of the fire?

He wanted to be a hot dog!

How did Gnasher start his own flea circus?

He started from scratch!

What is Gnasher's favourite rock band?

Linkin Bark!

What does Gnasher have for breakfast?

A pooched egg!

What's it called when a Clawdia escapes from Gnasher?

A cat-astrophy!

What did Gnasher think when he dropped his sausage sandwich?

It was the wurst day ever!

What do you get if you cross a mobile and a treat from Butch Butcher?

A smart-bone!

How does Gnasher greet other dogs?

Gnash to meet you!

Why are dragons so bad at law making?

They're too draconian!

Why is there a red dragon on the Welsh flag?

The green one was on holiday!

How do you know if a dragon is angry?

He's all fired up!

What's a dragon's favourite board game?

Dungeons and Dragons!

How often do dragons eat people?

Knightly!

A dragon would never explode...

But a dino might!

Which fruit is the most scared of dragons?

A damson in distress!

What's a dragon's favourite time of day?

Knight time!

Why are dragons so good at rapping?

They're always spitting fire!

Why are dragons so good at telling stories?

They have very long tails!

Who delivers presents to dragons at Christmas?

Santa Claws!

Why should you never try to insult a dragon?

You'll get burned!

Where should you go to meet all your favourite dragons?

Dra-con!

Why don't dragons use cutlery?

They have forked tongues!

Where do dragons go when they need a new tail?

The retail store!

What's the weather like when the sky is full of dragons?

Smaug-y!

What does a dragon have on its floors?

Rep-tiles!

What sort of steak do dragons eat?

Flaming yawn!

Why did the dragon take an axe to its egg?

She wanted to hatch it!

How do dragons lie on their treasure?

With their booty!

Where do dragons go to make deals?

Dragons Den!

Which knight never fights dragons?

Sir Render!

How do you get down off a dragon?

You don't get down off a dragon, you get down off a duck!

Why don't dragons eat wizards?

Their beards get stuck in their teeth!

Why was the dragon tired?

He'd been working the knight shift!

Which day of the week do dragons eat the most knights?

Chews-day!

What is a dragons cookery course called?

Knight school!

Which knight took the longest for the dragon to eat?

Sir Cumference!

What do you call a dragon with no silver?

A dron!

What did the dragon say to its egg?

You crack me up!

What do you call a knight who's just been in a fight with a dragon?

Claude!

What do you call a wizard who's just been eaten by a dragon?

Ex-spelled!

What do you call a wizard riding a dragon?

A flying sorcerer!

What's a dragon's least favourite snack?

Hot wings!

Why do dragons live in caves?

Have you seen house prices at the moment?!

Why do dragons use body lotion?

They've got very scaly skin!

How do you catch a dragon?

With a drag-net!

What eats more knights than a dragon?

Two dragons!

When do dragons breathe ice?

When they have a cold!

What did the dragon say after laying her eggs?

I'm egg-sausted!

What sound does a sheep in Star Wars make?

Deygobaa!

Why did the barber give a flock of sheep a free haircut?

Because shearing is caring!

How do sheep feel about goats?

A bit meh!

What do you call a sheep with wings?

A baaa-t!

What do sheep love most about cricket?

Going in to baa-t!

What do you call a giraffe with no eye?

A graph!

I was going to tell you a story about a giraffe's neck...

But it's really too long!

They said a giraffe is 15 feet!

I've only seen them with four!

What do you call a visitor's attraction full of old giraffes?

Giraffic Park!

Did you hear about the giraffe who ordered a hat off the internet?

It was a tall order!

Chuck Norris invented giraffes...

By staring at a horse!

What is a giraffe's favourite Ariana Grande song?

Thank U, Necks!

Why was the giraffe so well respected at the zoo?

Everyone looked up to them!

What's the definition of a scary book?

A pop-up book about giraffes?

Why do giraffes have such long necks?

So it will reach their head!

Why don't giraffes like fast food?

They can't catch it!

What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a paper plane?

A plane in the neck!

What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a carpenter's tool?

A plane in the neck!

Why did Dennis stick feathers to his alarm clock?

He wanted to see time fly!

Where did the Beanotown Marathon end?

At the finish line!

Why did Dennis eat his homework?

Gnasher was too busy!

What did Dennis say when he bought his deck for half price?

Cheap skate!

What do you get if you cross Gnasher with a calculator?

A friend you can count on!

Why did Gnasher like Dennis's new song about a sausage?

It was a banger!

What did Dennis say after eating the last slice of toast?

It was the yeast I could do!

What's the hardest thing about skateboarding?

The bottom of the ramp!

What did Dennis's hair spikes say to each other?

Hey, looking sharp!

Teacher: If you got £10 from 5 people, what do you get?

Dennis: A new skateboard!

What did Dennis say to his little sister while he was babysitting?

Bea good!

Why did Dennis and Gnasher cross the road?

To get to the other side!

Why was Dennis's snot tired?

It was totally wiped out!

Where does Dennis order his stuff online?

Blamazon!

Why is Dennis scared of French pancakes?

They give him the crêpes!

What’s Dracula’s favorite flavor of ice cream?

Vein-illa!

What do you call a vampire in a raincoat?

Count Mack-ula!

Where does Dracula go on holiday?

The Isle of Fright!

Where does Dracula water ski?

On Lake Eerie!

Why did Dracula turn veggie?

He heard that steak was bad for his heart!

What song does Dracula hate most?

You Are My Sunshine!

Why doesn’t anybody like Dracula?

He has a bat temper!

What did Batman ask the sandwich maker?

Got ham?

What does Batman say when he's getting out of bed?

The Dark Knight Rises!

What does Batman call his phone?

The Bat Mobile!

What do you call Batman after a game of rugby?

Bruise Wayne!

What did the Caped Crusader say when it was time to play cricket?

I'm the Batman!

What is Batman's favourite drink?

Vigilan-tea!

Where is Batman's favourite place to visit in South Africa?

Capetown!

Why couldn't Batman send a text message?

He didn't have a Bat Signal!

What did Alfred say when the Caped Crusader came back from his holiday?

Welcome Bat!

What do you call it when Batman sends something back at the post office?

Dark Knight Returns!

How does Batman power his remote control?

With bat-teries!

Why did Batman run off to the Bat Cave?

He need the Bat Room!

What do you get if you cross Batman and an orange?

Juice Wayne!

Where does Batman have a wash?

In the bat tub!

How does Batman know when it's time to eat?

Dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner... Batman!

What happened when the Joker steamrollered Batman and Robin?

They became Flatman and Ribbon!

Why does Batman love pancakes?

Because he's the Crepe-d Crusader!

Why does Batman always carry an umbrella??

Because every day is a Wayne-y day!

What happened when Batman had a power cut?

He had a dark night!

What does Batman add to his fruit juice?

Just ice!

Why did the fish go to the optician?

It was having trouble sea-ing!

Which fish looks like an 80s hairstyle?

A mullet!

What do you get if you cross a fish with an elephant?

Swimming trunks!

What fish can go really fast?

A motor-pike!

What do oyster wear so they can hide from a fish?

Clamouflage!

I didn’t think yoga would fix my posture…

But I stand corrected!

What does Jack Sparrow do instead of yoga?

Pilates of the Caribbean!

Why did the yogi return the vacuum cleaner?

It came with too many attachments!

Why did the yogi refuse novocaine at the dentist?

She wanted to transcend-dental-medication!

What did the yogi tell his mum to stop her leaving yoga class?

Nah ma, stay!

Why did the yogi get fired from her job as a cashier?

Because she kept saying change comes from within!

People say yoga will change your life

I think that’s a bit of a stretch!

How does the yogi order a pizza slice?

Make me one with everything!

Why does everyone love yoga teachers?

They bend over backwards for you.!

What do you call a bagel that’s mastered yoga?

A pretzel!

What did the yogi tell his dog?

Nama-stay!

Why does the bear love yoga class?

It’s a good chance to paws and reflect!

What did the cow say in yoga class?

Oooooom!

Why is the apple so good at yoga?

He’s got a great core!

What does the yoga teacher want for their birthday?

Just your presence!

I’m worried I’m not that good at yoga

Some days, I feel like just a poser!

Why did the bagel struggle in yoga class?

It couldn’t find its centre!

What did the yoga teacher say when she arrested someone?

You’ve got the right to remain silent!

What do you call yoga for kids?

Twister!

What do you do when a yoga guru goes missing?

Nothing. They’ll find themselves!

What did the yogi say when her friend asked her to leave the party?

Nah, Imma stay!

I’ve been practicing yoga for decades

It’s been a long stretch!

What does the job ad for the yoga studio say?

Inquire within!

Why do vegetable lovers love practicing yoga regularly?

To find their inner peas!

What is the most romantic yoga pose?

Pro-pose!

I gave my cat some almond milk the other day

Now she teaches yoga!

I tried to get my grandpa to go to yoga class yesterday…

It was a bit of a stretch!

How do you know when a yoga teacher is angry?

He gets incensed!

My doctor doesn’t want me to go to yoga anymore

He thinks I self-meditate too much!

What kind of yoga do zombies do?

Decom-pose!

What’s a pirate’s least favorite yoga move?

The plank pose!

Why is it easy to make an appointment with a yoga teacher?

They’re just so flexible!

What did Cinderella say when Prince Charming drank her glass of milk?

How dairy!

What do you call some cheese wearing glass slippers?

Mozzarella!

What did Prince Charming say when he placed Cinderella's glass slipper on her foot?

You're my sole mate!