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EA Jokes

Looking for some giggle-worthy gaming gags? These EA jokes are hilarious on every level!

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Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  November 4th 2022

Are you a fan of FIFA? Madden? Battlefront? There are loads of games made by EA, and lots of reasons to have a chuckle at this well-known gaming company! Whatever you think of EA you're bound to find a gag to make even the grumpiest gamer giggle! Read on and find out for yourself!

If these EA jokes aren't your cup of tea, we've got loads more! Just take a bite out of these sausage jokes, have a squirt of these ketchup jokes - or for something totally different have a hoot at these big nose jokes!

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No eyed deer!

What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between you and me, something smells!

What do you call a pony with a sore throat?

A little horse!

What do you call fake spaghetti?

An impasta!

What do you call a Frenchman in sandals?

Phillipe Phillop!

What do you call an indecisive bee?

A maybe!

My friend told me to stop acting like a flamingo...

I had to put my foot down!

What do you call a pig doing karate?

A porkchop!

Why did the farmer win a Nobel prize?

For being outstanding in his field!

What's a foot long and slippery?

A slipper!

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no idea!

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese!

What do you call a man in a pile of leaves?

Russell!

Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!

Where do you weigh a pie?

Somewhere over the rainbow..weigh a pie!

How do you get down off an elephant?

You don't get down off an elephant, you get down off a duck!

What did the mayonnaise say to the fridge?

Close the door, I'm dressing!

How do you open a banana?

With a mon-key!

What do pigs put on their skin?

Oinkment!

Did you hear about the important pickle?

It was a pretty big dill!

What does cheese say when it looks in the mirror?

Halloumi!

How do you get a pig to hospital?

In a hambulance!

What do you call it when Doctor Strange is unhappy?

A multiverse of sadness

What's Doctor Strange's favourite pizza?

Sorcerer’s Supreme!

Why does Doctor Strange never have WiFi issues?

He uses æthernet!

How does Doctor Strange make cookies?

He makes a cumber-batch!

I thought it would be a good idea to as a Doctor Strange character for Halloween

I was Wong

What would Doctor Strange be called if he didn't do medicine?

Mr. Strange!

What did Doctor Strange get Wanda for her birthday?

A scarlet watch!

What do you call him when Doctor Strange lets one rip?

Master of Mystic Farts!

What did Dr Strange call his cat?

Kathmandu!

What do you call Doctor Strange’s assistant in an elevator?

Wong on so many levels!

What does Barry always bring on camping trips?

His flash light!

When is Barry most useful?

When there's a flash flood!

How did Barry lose weight?

He fasted!

Why did The Flash leave town?

He heard there was a Heat Wave coming!

What do you call it when Barry makes dinner?

A Flash in the pan!

How does the Flash screw in a lightbulb?

He titans it!

What does The Flash put in his drinks?

Just ice!

Why was The Flash late?

He was fast asleep!

 When does Iris West like to go shopping?

When there's a flash sale!

Why is The Flash like a politican?

He's always running for something!

Did you hear about the fight in the fish and chip shop?

Some chips got a-salt-ted!

Did you hear about the fight in the fish and chip shop?

A fish got battered!

What is your fish and chips wrapped in?

Hake news!

What prays, eats potatoes and has long teeth?

A chip munk!

A Man Walks into an Opticians...

And orders fish and chips!

What sort of business is a chippie?

Sole traders!

What do they say in the chippie at the end of the week?

'Thank cod it's fry-day!'

Why should you always go to the Fish and Chip shop with your mates?

It's good to have friend-chip goals!

Why do I go to the fish and chip shop?

Just for the halibut!

Did you hear about the Pixar remake set in a fish and chip shop?

It's called Frying Nemo!

What do you call someone who lives in a monastery and makes fish and chips?

A fish friar!

I'm a bit suspicious of this new chip shop...

There's something fishy about it!

I had an ok fish and chips last night...

It could have been batter

How do you say good bye in a fish and chip shop?

'Tartare!'

Which king also ran a chocolate factory?

William the Wonkerer!

A Milky Way chocolate bar in space

What is the King's taxman called?

Sir Charge!

Where do kings get crowned?

On the head!

Why did the girl take a ruler to the sleepover?

She wanted to see how long she slept!

What do scuba divers bring to sleepovers?

Snore-kels!

What do butterflies have at sleepovers?

Caterpillar fights!

What do you call policemen having a sleepover?

Undercover cops!

What do you get if you have a sleepover in a hotel?

Suite dreams!

Why dragons have their sleepovers during the day?

So they can fight knights!

Where do fish have sleepovers?

On the sea bed!

What’s the best sleepover snack?

PiZZZa!

What do sheep count at their sleepovers?

People!

Where do burgers have a sleepover?

On a bed of lettuce!

What did the mathematician bring to the sleepover?

His one z!

What’s it called when trees have a sleepover?

A lumber party!

We woke up from our sleepover to find rice everywhere…

Must have had a pilau fight!

What are the best sandwiches to have at a sleepover?

Peanut butter and jammies!

Why did the girl take her bike to the sleepover?

She didn’t want to sleepwalk!

What is a king’s favourite weather?

Hail!

How does Old King Wenceslas like his pizza?

Deep and Crisp and Even!

I hope Prince Charles is okay

Ever since King Charles came into town, I haven’t heard from the Prince at all!

Where do Kings keep their armies?

In their sleevies!

Did you know that Camelot wasn't King Arthur's castle?

It's where he parked his camels!

I'm not a fan of the new coins with King Charles' head on them...

But then I don't like change!

What's the difference between a dinosaur and a British king?

One is a T-rex, the other is a tea rex!

Once upon a time, there was a king who was only 12 inches tall

He was a terrible king, but he made a great ruler!

Why did the king go to the dentist?

To get his teeth crowned!

How did Medieval kings send messages in the forest?

Moss code!

Why was the king wet?

He was the reigning monarch!

What medieval king wrote books?

King Author!

When is a king like a piece of wood?

When it’s a ruler!

Why didn’t the haggis go to the barbecue?

He was a veggie haggis!

What’s a cat’s favourite topping for Christmas pud?

Mice cream!

Why do cats take so long to wrap presents?

They want them to be purr-fect!

Why wouldn’t the cat climb the Christmas tree?

He was afraid of the bark!

What happened to the cat stuck in the Christmas stocking?

He got claws-trophobia!

What was the cat’s job for Christmas baking?

Whisker-ing the batter!

Why didn’t the cat like the toy he got for Christmas?

It just wasn't up to scratch!

Why did the cat get everyone gag gifts for Christmas?

He was just kitten around!

What do you call a cat sitting on the beach at Christmas?

Sandy Claws!

What’s Meowriah Cat-rey’s biggest hit?

“All I Want Paw Christmas is You!”

Where do cats kiss?

Under the meow-stletoe!

Who’s a cat’s favourite Christmas character?

Fur-osty the Snowman!

How do cats show affection at Christmas?

They give each other purr-esents!

What's a cat's favourite Christmas song?

"Walkin' in a Whisker Wonderland!"

What do cats say to each other during the festive season?

Meow-ry Christmas!

How do cats solve their Christmas day arguments?

They hiss and make up!

What’s a cat’s favourite Christmas day film?

“The Sound of Mew-sic!”

I bet you thought there would be better jokes here…

“Haggis” you’ll have to make do with these!

What’s a haggis’s favourite kind of facial hair?

Mutton chops!

What do you get if you cross a thistle and a haggis?

A sore throat!

What do you call a haggis in the middle of the Gobi desert?

Lost!

I heard haggis is made using stomachs…

Sounds like tripe to me!

What is Scotland’s gross domestic product?

Haggis!

Where will you have to go if you eat too much haggis?

The Burns Ward!

I tried haggis…

It tasted offal!

I wanted to try haggis for the first time…

But I just don’t have the stomach for it!

Why do cats love Christmas carols?

Because they’re very mew-sical!

Who gives cats presents at Christmas?

Santa Claws!

How did the cat do his Christmas shopping?

From a cat-alogue!

Did you hear about the cat who tried to decorate the Christmas tree?

It was a cat-astrophe!

What did the dog say during Christmas dinner?

Bone appetit!

Why did the snowman name his pet dog Frost?

Because Frost bites!

What did the dog say to the bone they got for Christmas?

Nice gnawing you!

What did the dog say on December 25?

Yappy Christmas!

What treat do dogs get for Christmas?

Candy canines!

Reindeer and candy canes

Which song will always get a dog's attention?

O Christmas Treat!

What did the dog put in their letter to Santa Claus?

Nothing... dogs can't write!

A dog in a Christmas hat

How do Chihuahuas say Happy Christmas?

Fleas Navidog!

What do you call a wet dog with a bell on his collar?

Jingle smells!

Why did the dog think they were helping at Christmas?

They watered the tree!

What's it called when the Elf on the Shelf is wearing a face mask?

Elf care!

What do you call a first aid kit next to the Elf on a Shelf?

Elf and safety!

Who is the Elf on the Shelf's favourite actor?

Holly Berry!

Why is the Elf always on the Shelf?

There's snow way he would go outside!

Where does the Elf on the Shelf go dancing?

The jingle ball!

What does the Elf on the Shelf wear on his head?

A bauble hat!

What does the Elf on the Shelf use when he's hiking?

A candy cane!

What's the Elf on the Shelf's dog called?

Santa Paws!

Why did the Elf on the Shelf have so many socks?

He was stocking up!

Why did the Elf on the Shelf have a sore throat?

He had tinselitis!

What claps and barks and says you look great?

The seal of approval!

Why was the seal so well rested?

She practised seal-f care!

What sort of cinemas do seals go to?

Dive in!

Why did the seal cross the road?

To get to the other tide!

Who is a polar bear's favourite singer?

Seal!

What do polar bears do on their birthdays?

They seal-abrate!

Why don't penguins hang out with walruses?

They're too seal-y

Who sings, eats fish and is called Seal?

A pup star!

Why do seals swim in salt water?

Pepper makes them sneeze!

What sort of music do seals listen to?

Orca-stras!

What do seals do when they need medical attention?

Sea kelp!

What's grey and has a trunk?

A seal on holiday!

What sort of music do seals like?

Sole!

What’s the difference between a seal and a sea lion?

One electron

What do seals study at school?

Art! Art! Art!

What is corn’s favourite holiday?

New Ears Day!

Where did the chef go to celebrate New Year?

Thyme’s Square!

A chef

What’s a digital camera’s New Year’s resolution?

1080p!

Knock, knock! Who's there? Hannah. Hannah who?

Hannah Happy New Year!

Two people laughing

What do snowmen wear on their heads in January?

Ice caps!

What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?

A cold!

What happened to the person who stole a calendar on New Year’s Day?

They got 12 months!

A burglar giving the thumbs down

Why should Christmas be moved to January?

The shops are less busy and everything is on sale!

A person thinking about spellings

Why do you need a phone on New Year’s Eve?

To ring in the New Year!

What does the Easter Bunny say on New Year's Day?

Hoppy New Year!

What’s the first month of the year in Transyvania?

Janu-eerie!

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Noah. Noah who?

Noah good joke about January?

What did the snowman say on January 1?

I remember last year like it was yesterday!

How many seconds are in a year?

12! January second, February second, March second…

What’s the best food to eat in January?

Brrr-itos!

Where do you snowmen check the weather reports for January?

The winternet!

How do elves get to the top floor!

They go in the elf-avator!

How do elves keep their breath fresh?

Orna-mints!

Why are Santa’s helpers so good at making things?

They love Do It Your Elf!

What do you call a naughty elf who's bunked off work?

A rebel without a Claus!

Santa Claus on the telephone

Where does Santa keep his helper’s manuals?

On the sh-elf!

How did Santa’s helper see the doctor so quickly?

They had private elf care!

Why did elf take the day off work?

They had tinsel-itis!

Why did Santa refuse to buy chips for his helper? 

It’s bad for his elf!

What does an elf have for breakfast?

Frosties!

A bowl of frozen cereal

Where does an elf stay on holiday?

A ho-ho-ho-tel!

What kind of car do elves drive?

A Toy-otas!

What sort of photos does a seal take?

Polaroids!

What does an orca call a seal on a skateboard?

Meals on wheels!

What do you call a seal in the forest?

Barking up the wrong tree!

What do you call a seal in the jungle?

Lost!

What do you call two seals in love?

Seal mates!

What stops the ocean from draining?

The seals!

What did the seal say to the wall?

Dam!

Why are seals good at racing?

They're always in pole position!

What do seals say on Black Friday?

Buy! Buy! Buy!

What do seals wear on their feet when its cold?

Flippers!

I didn't eat my Animal Crackers...

Because it said 'Do not eat if seal is broken!'

What's a balanced meal for a polar bear?

A seal in each paw!

What did the seal say when it was late?

'I would have been here earlier, but my iceberg hit a ship!'

What do you call a female seal?

Sealia!

Why did the seal get eaten by the orca?

Because he couldn't see that whale!

How do elves keep their hands clean?

A blob of Santa-tiser!

What’s the difference between an ant and an elf?

Very little!

An ant and an elf

How do elves send messages to each other?

On their elf phones!

Why is Stormzy like an elf?

He’s good at wrapping!

Christmas joke emoji

What do Santa’s helpers have for lunch?

Elf-abetti Spaghetti!

How many elves does a German Santa have?

Elf!

An elf in front of a German flag

Why does Santa owe success to his helpers?

Because he’s an elf-made man!

Why did the elf not catch the bus to school?

They were gnome schooled!

Why did Santa have to wear a hard hat in his toy factory?

Elf and safety!

Where do elves cast their vote?

At the North Poll!

A voting ballot box

Who sings ‘Hound Dog’ and makes toys?

Elfis!

A dog in a Christmas hat

What do get if you cross an elf with a duck?

A Christmas quacker!

A duck surrounded by laughing emojis

What elf can carry the most books?

A booksh-elf!

Why did the elf nap in the forest?

Because he wanted to sleep like a log!

What does an elf use to make a Christmas pudding?

U-tinsel-s!

Christmas pudding

What do you call a selfish elf?

Myself!

How did the elf take such good photos of themselves?

They had an elfie stick!

How do elves like to be paid?

With cold hard cash!

What do you call an elf in earmuffs? 

Anything you like because they can’t hear you!

What do you call a French street named after a reindeer?

Rue Dolph!

Rudolph in France

How much did Santa's sleigh cost?

Absolutely nothing – it was on the house!

Why did Rudolph’s nose light up in reindeer class?

He was a bright student!

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer

What do all of the other reindeer call Rudolph? 

Names!

Rudolph

Why do Santa’s reindeer think they’re a good team? 

It's what they've herd!

What do they call the Hunger Games in France?

Battle Royale with Cheese!

Why does everyone love Peeta?

Because he's the best thing since sliced bread!

Why did Peeta quit his job making bread?

He couldn't get a raise!

A person holds a cake from the oven

Did you hear about the Adele song about Katniss Everdeen?

She sets fire to the games!

Katniss: My husband won't stop making bread jokes

Peeta: I haven't done muffin!

What does Peeta want to name his child?

Ryelee if it's a girl, Bunjamin if it's a boy!

What does Peeta call his grandmother?

Naan!

Why is Effie Trinkets hair so big?

It's full of secrets!

Katniss: Where's Finnick?

Peeta: Odair he is!

The Hunger Games is like football

Everyone runs around for two hours, nobody scores, and its billion fans insist you just don't understand!

An old muddy football

Knock, knock! Who's there? Farter. Farter who?

Farter Christmas!

Brussels sprouts

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Ivana. Ivana who?

Ivana see if Santa has been!

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Izzin. Izzin who?

Izzin Christmas fun?

Tooth fairy jokes

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Freeze. Freeze who?

Freeze a jolly good fellow!

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Harry! Harry who?

Harry up and carve the turkey!

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Oakham. Oakham who?

Oakham all ye faithful…

A dog and a man singing in an old library

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Yule. Yule who?

Yule have a piece of Christmas cake!

A stollen cake

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Honda. Honda who?

Honda first day of Christmas my true love sent to me…

Christmas stocking

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Wanda. Wanda who?

Wanda what we’ll get for Christmas!

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Olive. Olive who?

Olive the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names!

Rudolph

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Santa. Santa who?

Santa Christmas card to you. Did you get it?

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Chris. Chris who?

Christmas party!

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Tree! Tree who?

Tree wise men!

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Pudding. Pudding who?

Pudding up my Christmas stocking!

Christmas pudding

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Coal. Coal who?

Coal me when Santa’s been!

Knock, knock! Who's there? Ho Ho. Ho Ho who? 

Your Santa impression needs some practice!

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Deck the. Deck the who?

Deck the halls with boughs of holly!

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who?

Lettuce in, it’s freezing!

Knock, knock! Who's there? Wayne. Wayne who?

Wayne in a manger!

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Luke. Luke who?

Luke at that bag of presents!

A bag of Christmas presents

Knock, knock! Who's there? Have. Have who?

Have you left out some milk and cookies?

Knock, knock! Who's there? Icy. Icy who?

Icy you’ve been wrapping your presents!

A man in a suit popping bubble wrap

Knock, knock! Who's there? Ima. Ima who? 

Ima dreaming of a white Christmas!

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Yah. Yah who?

Someone’s excited about Christmas!

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Arthur. Arthur who?

Arthur any gifts for me?

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Tank. Tank who?

Tank you for my gift!

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut who?

Doughnut open presents until Christmas Day!

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Avery. Avery who?

Avery merry Christmas to you!

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Anita. Anita who?

Anita ride in Santa’s sleigh!

Knock, knock! Who’s there? Howard. Howard who? 

Howard you like to sing some carols with me?

A person singing a Christmas song

Where does a salmon deposit checks?

The river bank!

What sort of nuts do fish eat?

Salmonds!

What does a Salmon say when it swims into a wall?

Dam!

Why did the salmon cross the road?

To get to the other tide!

Why do Salmon only watch stuff online?

They prefer streams!

Can a salmon be contained?

No, but a tuna can!

What do you give a salmon on its birthday?

Fish cakes!

What do you call a boat full of salmon eggs?

A roe boat!

Why did the fish feel sick?

She had salmonella!

Why did the salmon miss the party?

He was too cool for the main stream!

Do you know what it's like to be a fish?

I don't, but I'll Alaska salmon!

A salmon walks into a vegetarian restaurant

The waiter says 'Sorry, we don’t serve fish!'

What should you say to a heartbroken salmon?

'There's plenty more fish in the sea!'

I'd like to catch a fish...

But I think I'll leave it to salmon else!

What do you call the language used by fish?

Salmon-tics!

What did one fish say to the other?

'I need salmon like you!'

What happens if you cross a fish with chocolate spread?

Salmonella!

I wouldn't trust that salmon if I were you...

He seems a little fishy!

What's a salmon's least favourite day of the week?

Fry day!

Why should you never email a salmon?

You'll have to wait ages for a re-spawn-se!

What do you call a bodybuilding fish?

Hunky Dory!

What would Dory say if she was a hairdresser?

Just keep trimming!

My short term memory is bad...

And so is my short term memory!

What do you call a horror film starring fish?

Finding Gory!

Why did Dory warn Nemo about escaping through the toilet?

Because it was a sewer side mission!

What does Dory say when she cuts the grass?

Just keep strimming!

What should you say if you meet Dory?

I'm your biggest fin!

What kind of snacks do fish eat?

Dory-tos!

Why is Dory so classy?

She's very so-fish-ticated!

Where is Dory from?

Finland!

Why did Dory laugh?

She'd just met a clown fish!

Why was Dory excited?

She'd found a new oppor-tuna-tea!

How does Dory take photos?

With a clam-era!

Where does Dory live?

Bluefinland!

Why was Dory wearing a crown?

Because she's a Royal Blue Tang!

Why did Dory giggle?

Because the seaweed!

Have you heard about Dory?

She's really making waves!

Why did Dory's meal taste funny?

A clownfish made it!

Where does Dory sleep?

In the riverbed!

What's Dory's favourite hip hop group?

Blue Tang Clan!

What do strawberries sing at Christmas?

'Tis the season to be jelly!

Why did the Grinch get a burglar alarm?

Because he needs to get up on time!