Skip to main content

Farmer Jokes!

Plow through Beano's muddy field of fantastically funny farmer jokes!

Once you’ve milked this joke cow and you’ve got your fill of funny farmer jokes, why not check out these jokes about sheep, weather jokes and summer one-liners?

We have jokes for practically every occasion – visit the Joke Generator if you don’t believe us!

Why did the farmer bury his money in a field?

A laughing farmer

He wanted to make his soil rich!

Why do cows enjoy hearing jokes?

Laughing cows

Because they love being amoosed!

What do you say to a cow if it’s in your way?

A grinning cow blocking our way

Mooooove!

Which day do potatoes hate?

A scared potato

Fry-day!

Did you hear about the magic tractor?

A magical tractor

It turned into a field!

What do you call a horse that lives next door to a farm?

A horse with long flowing hair

A neigh-bour!

Why did the chick get sent off during a game of football?

A chicken playing football

It committed a fowl!

Where does a farmer get his medicine from?

A poorly farmer at the pharmacy

The farm-acist!

Who tells the best farmer jokes?

A chicken tells a joke

Comedi-hens!

What is a pig farmer’s favourite type of karate move?

A karate expert doing a chop

Pork chops!

Why is it pointless telling a cow a joke?

A smiling cow

They’ve herd them all!

What kind of things does a farmer talk about when he’s milking a cow?

A confused cow

Udder nonsense!

Did you hear about the farmer who got top marks in his maths exam?

A farmer in front of a chalk board

He used a pro-tractor!

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Cow's hooves

Because they lactose!

What do you call a sleeping bull?

A sleeping bull

A bull-dozer!

Why did the farmer plough her field with a steamroller?

A farmer in a steamroller

They wanted to grow mashed potatoes!

What did the farmer say to the cow when it wouldn’t go to sleep?

A farmer and a sleepy cow

It’s pasture bedtime!

Why do farmers love going to the cinema so much?

A farmer at the cinema

So they can watch the trailers

Why didn’t the farmer laugh at any of these jokes?

A farmer in a corn field

They were too corny

Why did the pig dump her boyfriend?

A pig in a pen

He was a massive boar!

Advertisement: Subscribe for 6 free Beano comics