Farmer Jokes!

Plow through Beano's muddy field of fantastically funny farmer jokes!

Once you've milked this joke cow and you've got your fill of funny farmer jokes, why not check out these jokes about sheep, weather jokes and summer one-liners?

We have jokes for practically every occasion – visit the Joke Generator if you don't believe us!

Why did the farmer bury his money in a field?

He wanted to make his soil rich!

Why do cows enjoy hearing jokes?

Because they love being amoosed!

What do you say to a cow if it’s in your way?


Which day do potatoes hate?


Did you hear about the magic tractor?

It turned into a field!

What do you call a horse that lives next door to a farm?

A neigh-bour!

Why did the chick get sent off during a game of football?

It committed a fowl!

Where does a farmer get his medicine from?

The farm-acist!

Who tells the best farmer jokes?


What is a pig farmer’s favourite type of karate move?

Pork chops!

Why is it pointless telling a cow a joke?

They've herd them all!

What kind of things does a farmer talk about when he's milking a cow?

Udder nonsense!

Did you hear about the farmer who got top marks in his maths exam?

He used a pro-tractor!

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?

Because they lactose!

What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bull-dozer!

Why did the farmer plough her field with a steamroller?

They wanted to grow mashed potatoes!

What did the farmer say to the cow when it wouldn’t go to sleep?

It’s pasture bedtime!

Why do farmers love going to the cinema so much?

So they can watch the trailers

Why didn’t the farmer laugh at any of these jokes?

They were too corny

Why did the pig dump her boyfriend?

He was a massive boar!

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