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30 Best Gnome Jokes & Puns Kids Will Love

In the mood for some miniature merriment? Gno-one says gno to these nonsensical gnome jokes!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  February 13th 2023

Ever looked at those chubby-faced fellas with the pointy hats and fishing rods and thought they're comedy gold? No? Well, they are - which is why we've compiled this hilarious list of the best gnome jokes in the garden! Read on to crack some seriously big grins at these tiny magical men!

Gno messing, gnon-stop hilarity is coming your way... or your fishing rod back! But if you'd rather try some other gags we've got these fantastic fairy jokes, these unbelievable unicorn jokes, or these magnificent magic jokes! So many jokes!

What do you call a psychic gnome that’s on the run?

A small medium at large!

Did you hear about the gnome dancers that robbed half the city?

They had a good run, but the jig is up!

Gnomes don’t understand jokes

they go right over their heads!

I was cleaning one of my garden statues and broke it

I don't gnome my own strength!

I met a gnome once, it was awkward

I’m not very good at small talk!

What do you get if you cross a cow and a gnome?

Condensed milk!

Why do gnomes make such great secretaries?

Because they're so good at shorthand!

What is a gnome’s favorite Shakespeare play?

Gnomeo and Juliet!

 Why are so many gnomes successful?

Good things come to gnomes who wait!

Why can’t you stop making Frodo gnome garden statues?

Because it’s so hobbit forming!

A sprout holding a sword

Knock Knock! Who’s there?

A Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!

Why are gnomes so honest?

They don’t like telling tall tales!

What sound does a gnome make when he's eating dinner?


What do you call it when you’re not allowed in your own garden?

A gnome-man’s land!

I found an alien in my garden, sitting by the pond in a red pointy hat

It was E.T - faux gnome!

What do they call a Gnome who lives in a city?

A metronome!

Why are gnome jokes all one-liners?

They like to keep it short!

Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?

He’s one foot tall!

Shoe Jokes Thumbnail
Shoe Jokes Thumbnail

I love cooking meat for tiny men...

...make gnome a steak!

Bacon jokes

Who’s the most famous gnome philosopher?

Gnome Chomsky!

What do gnome cowboys sing?

Gnome on the range!

What do you call a little guy in a pointy hat saying "tick tick tick"?

A metro-gnome!

Why do gnomes laugh when they play football?

Because the grass tickles their armpits!

What do spiritual gnomes say when doing yoga?


Why did the elf not catch the bus to school?

They were gnome schooled!

What do elves have to do after school?

Their gnome work!

What do gnomes learn at school?

The elf-abet!

"Gnome" is a corruption of the Latin "Genomus", or earth dweller

In other words, it's a misgnomer!

Who's the most famous detective in the garden?

Sherlock Gnomes!

The average height of a garden ornament is 10 inches tall.

That’s a little gnome fact!

A gnome
Next up - Dentist Jokes