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20 Hamilton Jokes Which Aren't Over 200 Years Old!

Here's some hilarious jokes about the Founding Father of the USA, Alexander Ha-ha-hamilton!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  April 10th 2024

If you're lucky enough to have Disney + and love history singalongs, chances are you've watched, Hamilton hundreds of times!

When it comes to epic musicals about the founding fathers of the United States of America, they don't come any better than the Lin-Manuel Miranda musical, do they?

Here's some jokes about the musical, with a big dollop of American history thrown in for good measure. Once you've recovered from laughing at these jokes, why not find out Which Hamilton Character Is Your Best Friend?, discover how well you remember the Hamilton musical lyrics, or learn which Hamilton character you're most like!

Why did Alexander Hamilton have a hammer and screwdriver?

He heard the President was assembling a cabinet!

Which Hamilton star is good a making holes in the ground?

Daveed Diggs!

Which cat is a Founding Father?

Aaron Purr!

What did Alexander Hamilton say when the Founding Fathers were on the floor?

"What’ll you fall for?"

What did King George say when it was time to sing in church?

"I know hymn!"

What did George Washington say when he felt chilly?

"History has its ice on me!"

What do you call a Founding Father who wins a trophy?

Alexander Champion!

Hands holding a trophy aloft

What do you call a Founding Father who doesn't know the words?

Alexander Hum-ilton!

Which Founding Father always closed doors with a bang?

Alexander Slamilton!

Why did Alexander Hamilton refuse to put his tissues in the bin?

He wasn't throwing away his snot!

Which Founding Father was always covered in salt?


What did Alexander Hamilton say to his bread dough while it was in the oven?

Rise up!

Why did Alexander Hamilton bring a pencil to the duel?

He wanted to draw first!

Why did Alexander Hamilton's roast chicken not taste of anything?

He had ran out of thyme!

What do you call a president that has lots of laundry to do?

George Washing-ton!

A ghost on top of the White House

What did Alexander Hamilton say when he burned his stew?

"I'm not throwing away my pot!"

What do you call a Founding Father of the USA who lives in a shop?

Alexander Mannequin!

A mannequin
Dodger | Terry Pratchett | Paul Kidby | Doubleday Children's

Why is Alexander Hamilton banned from all-you-can-eat buffets?

Because he will never be satisfied!

Who's the coldest person in the Hamilton story?

Aaron Brrrr!

A dog in a hat

What do you call an argument between Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr?

The Ham-Burr-Grrr!