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20 Hand Jokes That Win Hands-Down!

Hey you! Looking for some human body belly-laughs? Get a grip with these thumb-tastic hand jokes!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  December 10th 2021

Can't keep your mitts off these hilarious hand jokes? Check out these toe jokes, eye jokes, or even take a bite of these teeth jokes! We've got loads of jokes! Don't believe us? Just look at our amazing Joke Generator! ... See?!

What's the best time?

6.30 - hands down!

How do you wash your hands at Christmas?

With hand Santatizer!

Laughing Father Christmas sitting down with his right hand in the air

What has 5 fingers but isn't your hand?

My hand!

What has 6 legs, 6 eyes and 6 hands?

6 pirates!

What's the best way to hold a bat?

By the handle!

How many skateboarders does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but it'll take 100 tries!

I sprained my thumb today

On the other hand, I'm doing ok!

What's so nice about the skeleton?

He always lends a hand!

What's worse than having a big nose?

Having a big nose and tiny hands!

What's the difference between a bison and a buffalo?

You can't wash your hands in a buffalo!

What type of tree fits snugly in your hand?

A palm tree!

If you had 4 apples and 5 oranges in one hand and 6 apples and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have?

Very large hands!

number jokes

I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both left-ies

One the one hand, it's great. On the other, it's not!

one-liner jokes

A thief was arrested for stealing loaves of sourdough...

They were caught bread handed!

bread jokes

What do you say when you hand someone an avocado?


How do you catch a fish without a fishing rod?

With your BEAR hands!

I found a good bread recipe where you don't have to get your hands dirty from mixing it...

The bread was kneadless, to say!

What do you call someone who can eat candy corn with both hands?


Why can’t the T-rex clap its hands?

Because it's extinct!

Where did Captain Hook buy his hook?

The second hand shop!