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Hand Jokes

Hey you! Looking for some human body belly-laughs? Get a grip with these thumb-tastic hand jokes!

Can’t keep your mitts off these hilarious hand jokes? Check out these toe jokes, eye jokes, or even take a bite of these teeth jokes! We’ve got loads of jokes! Don’t believe us? Just look at our amazing Joke Generator! … See?!

What’s the best time?

6.30 – hands down!

How do you wash your hands at Christmas?

Laughing Father Christmas sitting down with his right hand in the air

With hand Santatizer!

What has 5 fingers but isn’t your hand?

My hand!

What has 6 legs, 6 eyes and 6 hands?

6 pirates!

What’s the best way to hold a bat?

By the handle!

How did the hipster burn his hand?

He changed the lightbulb before it was cool!

I sprained my thumb today

On the other hand, I’m doing ok!

What’s so nice about the skeleton?

He always lends a hand!

What’s worse than having a big nose?

Having a big nose and tiny hands!

What’s the difference between a bison and a buffalo?

You can’t wash your hands in a buffalo!

What type of tree fits snugly in your hand?

A palm tree!

If you had 4 apples and 5 oranges in one hand and 6 apples and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have?

number jokes

Very large hands!

I got a new pair of gloves today, but they’re both left-ies

one-liner jokes

One the one hand, it’s great. On the other, it’s not!

A thief was arrested for stealing loaves of sourdough…

bread jokes

They were caught bread handed!

What do you say when you hand someone an avocado?


How do you catch a fish without a fishing rod?

With your BEAR hands!

I found a good bread recipe where you don’t have to get your hands dirty from mixing it…

The bread was kneadless, to say!

What do you call someone who can eat candy corn with both hands?


Why can’t the T-rex clap its hands?

Because it’s extinct!

Where did Captain Hook buy his hook?

The second hand shop!