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30 Hospital Jokes That Will Make You Feel Better!

These hospital jokes are just what the doctor ordered! Check out these funny hospital jokes and tickle your funny bone!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  May 24th 2023

Today's prescription is; laughter! Have a giggle with these funny hospital jokes and you'll feel right as rain! And if you enjoyed these, we've got lots more jokes for you! How about these silly skeleton jokes? Or you might be in the mood for some bone jokes! Perhaps we can even interest you in these doctor doctor jokes? None of these tickle your fancy? We've got even more great jokes on our jokes hub!

How does a pig get to hospital?

In a hambulance!

What swims and looks after you when you're sick?

A nurse shark!

Where should you go if you need to fix the alphabet?

The A&E department!

Why did the clown go to hospital?

To fix his funny bone!

Why did the dessert go to the ear hospital?

It was a trifle deaf!

I had to go to hospital after swallowing a pillow...

I was fine, just a little down in the mouth!

Why did the Dalmatian have to go to the eye hospital?

He kept seeing spots!

Who's the coolest guy in the hospital?

The hip replacement guy!

Who's the second coolest guy in the hospital?

The second hip replacement guy!

Why was the X ray hospital so quiet?

They only had a skeleton staff working!

Why should you never lie to X ray technicians?

They can see right through you!

Why do rabbits go to hospital?

To get hoperations!

I had a big red mark on my face so I thought about going to hospital...

But I didn't want to make any rash decisions!

What do you call a Spanish man leaving a hospital?


Why should you always give birth in a hospital?

The womb service is great!

What happened when the actor broke his arm?

He became a cast member!

Why did the cookie go to hospital?

He felt crummy!

Why did the satsuma go to hospital?

It wasn't peeling well!

What's the best type of blood you can have?


Why did the man give his electric piano to the hospital?

He wanted to be an organ donor!

Why do you always have to wait at the hospital?

Because you're patient!

What swims in the sea and operates on people?


Why should you always take crayons to hospital?

In case they need to draw blood!

Who is the nicest guy in the hospital?

The ultra sound guy!

Where does SpongeBob go when he's in hospital?

The Squid Ward!

Which part of the hospital will see you the quickest?

The ICU!

I accidentally drank a bottle of invisible ink...

I was in hospital all night, waiting to be seen!

Why did the whale go to hospital?

For a sea section!

What happened when the horse went to hospital?

The doctors managed to get him into a stable condition!

What happens if you dial 666?

You get an upside down ambulance!