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72 Mermaid Jokes That Are Really Fin-tastic

Take a dive into our ocean of marvelous mermaid jokes!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:ย  January 6th 2022

When you're finished splashing around in these, swim on over to our shocking shark jokes, funny fish jokes or dry off with some dramatic desert jokes!ย 

Want something a bit more random? Check out Beano's great joke generator!ย 

What does a mermaid have on the end of her hands?


Why did the mermaid blush?

She saw the ocean's bottom!

What do mermaids eat for tea?

Fish fingers!

What does a mermaid wear on the end of her tail?

Flip flops!

Why was the mermaid cross?

Because the seaweed!

How did the mermaid win lots of money?

She played the grotto-ery!

What did the mermaid say to the lobster?

'You're being shellfish!'

Why do mermaids get cold?

It's very clammy under the sea!

What do you call a mermaid looking for her hairbrush?

A beach comber!

What's a mermaid's favourite part of the playground?

The sea saw!

Who keeps the ocean clean and tidy?


Why are mermaids such good singers?

They practise their scales!

What do mermaids eat with ice cream?


How do mermaids stay in contact?

Sea mail!

How do octopuses make mermaids laugh?

With ten tickles!

Why don't mermaids use computers?

They don't like the net!

Why don't mermaids play tennis?

They don't want to get caught in the net!

What do mermaids sleep on?


Where do mermaids keep their money?

In a riverbank!

Why was the mermaid suspicious?

She smelt something fishy!

What do mermaids use their phones for?

Taking shellfies!

What did the mermaid find shaking on the bottom of the sea?

A nervous wreck!

Why didn't it work out between the sailor and the mermaid?

Their relationship was on the rocks!

Why did the mermaid cross the sea?

To get to the other tide!

What did the mermaid say when she got stuck in some seaweed?


How did the mermaid comfort her heart broken friend?

'There's plenty more fish in the sea!'

What was wrong with the mermaid?

She was feeling crabby!

Where do mermaids pick up fast food?

At the dive-through!

Where did the mermaid and the fisherman meet?


What do mermaids ride?


Why do mermaids live in saltwater?

Pepper makes them sneeze!

Why are mermaids so gullible?

They fall for things hook, line and sinker!

How do you get in touch with a mermaid?

Drop her a line!

How good are mermaids at swimming?


How did the mermaid's date go?


What does a mermaid get from a shark?

She gets as far away as possible!

How did the mermaid get to hospital?

In a clambulance!

Where do mermaids live?


What kind of pets do mermaids have?

A catfish!

What card did the mermaid get when she was sick?

A get whale soon card!

What do mermaids use for money?


What does a mermaid have in her bag?

Her octo-purse!

What sort of doctor do mermaids go to see?

A sturgeon!

Did the mermaid splash the dolphin by mistake?

No, she did it on porpoise!

What's a mermaid's favourite tv show?

Whale of fortune!

What do mermaids use to write with?

Squid ink and a fountain pen!

Why did the mermaid fall in love with the fisherman?

He had allure!

What do you call something hand crafted in the ocean?

Mer made!

What does Ariel like to spread on her toast?


Little Mermaid facts

Which body part are mermaids scared of?


mermaid jokes

Why do mermaids never stay on shore for too long?

They find it over-whale-ming!

mermaid jokes

How do you know if a mermaid likes you?

They give you the seal of approval!

mermaid jokes

how do mermaids greet each other?

Whale, hello there!

mermaid jokes

How did the mermaid get scurvy?

She needed more vitamin sea!

mermaid jokes

Why are mermaids so productive?

They seas the day!

mermaid jokes

What do mermaids say to old friends?

Long time, no sea!

mermaid jokes

How do mermaids sing 'call me maybe'?

Hey, I'm a mermaid and this is crazy, but here's my conch shell, so call me maybe!

mermaid jokes

How do mermaids get their own way?

They, wish upon a starfish!

mermaid jokes

What did the prince say to Ariel?

We were mermaid for each other!

mermaid jokes

How do you reach a mermaid?

Call her on the shellphone!

mermaid jokes

Which part of a mermaid weighs the most?

The scales!

mermaid jokes

What has beautiful hair, a pretty face, two arms, a fish's tail, looks like a mermaid, but isn't a mermaid?

A photograph of a mermaid!

mermaid jokes

Do mermaids use knives and forks when they eat?

No, they use their fish fingers!

Fish finger sandwich

What did the sea say to the mermaid?

Nothing, it just waved!

mermaid jokes

Why do drones get so many pictures of mermaids?

They're Ariel photographers!

mermaid jokes

How do mermaids give birth?

A sea section!

mermaid jokes

How do mermaids clean their tails?

With Tide!

mermaid jokes

Why was the mermaid couple so indecisive?

Because they both refused to wear the pants in the relationship!

mermaid jokes

Did you hear about the mermaid that washed up on shore?

It's only a tail!

mermaid jokes

Why did the mermaid not finish high school?

Her grades where always under the C!

mermaid jokes

What do you call a mermaid on a roof?


mermaid jokes
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