Skip to main content
Subscribe to our Beano comic! Click Here
Beano Comic

24 Nose Jokes For You To Pick From

Are you sniffing around for jokes that'll have you snorting with laughter? You wont turn your nose up at these!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  July 21st 2021

Take a whiff of some of Beano's side-splittingly funny nose jokes! 

Once you've finished laughing at these, why not inhale some of our seriously smelly jokes, pungent poop jokes or some fragrant fart jokes?!

Why can't a nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it'd be a foot!

Which sailors blow their noses most often?

The Anchor Chiefs!

What's multicoloured and lives up your nose?

A rain-bogie!

I hate people who don’t cover their noses and mouths when they sneeze.

They make me sick!

I told my friend his nose was runny...

He said it's snot!

What do you see in a cows nose?


What is green and races out of your nose at 200 MPH?

A Lambooghini!

What do you call a nose with no body?

Nobody nose!

What's the best way to keep a skunk from smelling?

Hold its nose!

What happens when cows laugh?

Milk comes out of their noses!

Why is a dog's nose in the middle of its face?

Because its the scenter!

What has a nose and flies but can't smell?

An aeroplane!

What do you find in a clean nose?


Why was the nose sad?

Because it didn't get picked!

Why can't your nose be 12 inches long?

because then it would be a foot!

Why don't snowmen like carrot cake?

Because it tastes like bogies!

What did one eye say to the other?

Between you and me, something smells!

What happened to the witch with an upside down nose?

Every time she sneezed, she blew her hat off!

Doctor, doctor! My nose runs and my feet smell!

I fear you might have been built upside down!

Why was the nose tired?

It never stopped running!

What do you find up a ghost’s nose?


What do people most often overlook?

Their noses!

What do you call a pig who can't mind its own business?

A nosey porker!

Music, Movie, TV and Gaming Jokes