Old Age Jokes

Looking for some ripe old jokes or great grandad gags? You just found the (grand)motherload!

Looking for even more gut-bustingly good jokes? Well check these out! We've got time jokes, biology jokes, Dr Who jokes and loads of completely different jokes!

Phew!

How do pastry chefs get old?

Time crêpes up on them!

What time is Grandad’s bedtime?

3 hours after he falls asleep on the sofa!

Why can't you take pictures of old men with walking sticks?

You take pictures with cameras, not walking sticks!

What do you call George Washington's false teeth?

Presidentures!

What do you call a walking stick that makes you walk faster?

A hurricane!

What do you call dentures made for sheep?

Lamb chops!

What do you get when you freeze dentures?

Frost bite!

Grandpa just walked in with a young guy eating avocado toast.

It's his hip replacement!

How are stars like false teeth?

They both come out at night!

Shoutout to my Grandpa!

Cause that's the only way he’ll hear!

My grandpa’s last words were “Pints! Gallons! Litres!”

That spoke volumes!

What's the difference between a teeter totter on a farm and a donkey's grandpa?

One's a yee haw seesaw and the other’s a hee haw peepaw!

What do you call having your grandma on speed dial?

Instagran!

Why did granny put wheels on her rocking chair?

So she could rock and roll!

Who's the oldest superhero?

NANA-NANA-NANA-NANA-BATMAN!

How do you know when you’re getting old?

The candles cost more than the cake!

If Henry VIII was alive today, what would he be famous for?

Being really, really old!

What are the three signs of old age?

1. Being forgetful

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