Penguin Jokes

Looking for the perfect ice-breaker? Look no further! Beano's ludicrous selection of penguin jokes will defrost any icy vibes!

Fun Fact... Sir Nils Olaf, a penguin who lives at Edinburgh Zoo, is a sergeant in the Norwegian army and has a knighthood. What a cool penguin! 

We've got jokes so cool, you can't help but pen-grin! Have a gander at our turkey, horse or sloth jokes!

Why should you not write a book on penguins?

Because writing a book on paper is much easier!

When I meet new people I always talk about my giant pet penguin...

It's a good icebreaker!

Why do polar bears and penguins not get on?

Because they are polar opposites!

What do you call a penguin with no eye?

Pengun!

Why don't you ever see penguins in Great Britain?

Because they're scared of wales!

Why didn't the penguin jump off of the iceberg?

He got cold feet!

How do penguins know when there's something wrong?

It smells a bit fishy!

How do a group of penguins make a decision?

Flipper coin!

What do penguins sing on a birthday?

Freeze a jolly good fellow!

Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?

Because they haven't got any pockets!

What kind of fish do Penguins catch at night?

Starfish!

What do Penguins like to eat?

Brrrrritos!

What do penguins wear on their heads?

Ice caps!

What do penguins eat for lunch?

Ice-burgers!

Whats a penguins favorite relative?

Aunt Arctica!

How does a Penguin build a LEGO house?

Igloos it together!

Why don't penguins fly?

Because they're not tall enough to be pilots!

What did one penguin say to the other?

Nothing, he gave him the cold shoulder!

What's black and white, black and white, black and white?

A penguin rolling down a hill!

What do you call a penguin in the desert?

Lost!

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