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30 Best Running Jokes That Will Have You in Stitches

Running Jokes & Puns so Funny That You'll be Kneeling Over with Laughter!

Beano Jokes Team
Last Updated:  August 5th 2022

Let me jog your memory… Runnings the only sport you can do with nothing, all you need is the ground! The only thing you’ve got to lose by going running is your breath! This marathon list of epic running jokes for kids is so funny, it will have you in stitches by the time you’ve gone the distance! Then check out our Lucy Bronze Quiz, find out your favourite sport, and test your knowledge of gnarly skateboarding tricks. Whether it’s long distance running, sprinting, steeplechase or even just the egg and spoon, The Beano’s the best for kids sports, so what are you waiting for… on your marks, get set, chuckle!

How did the Robot break the 400m world record?

There was short circuit!

What’s a sprinter’s favourite takeaway?

McDonald’s. They love fast food!

How do you start the farmyard marathon?

Ready, steady, goat!

What running race are hens eggcellent at?

The Relay!

Why did the cat race through the supermarket?

It enjoyed lapping the milk!

What country is the fastest?


Why shouldn't runners use a treadmill?

It'll get them nowhere!

What do you call Cardi B on a treadmill?

Cardi O!

What do you call a free treadmill?


A chicken crossing the road

What does a runner lose after winning a race?

Their breath!

Why was the rhino not allowed to compete in the marathon?

Because she’s not in the human race!

Who lost the vegetable race?

The tomato was playing ketchup!

Who won the vegetable race?

The runner bean!

A couple split up after doing the marathon…

At least they’d had a good run!

Did you hear about the steeplechase runner who had a fear of the water jump?

He’s slowly getting over it?

How does a runner exercise her brain?

She jogs her memory!

Why did the Marathon runner give up?

He couldn’t suffer the agony of de feet!

I never sponsor people doing the marathon!

They always take your money and run!

One country dominates long-distance running at the Olympics!

Kenya believe it?

The snowman runner kept getting injured…

He refused to warm up!

Why are treadmills so funny? 

You wouldn’t get it. It’s a running inside joke!

Why did Cinderella lose the running race?

Because her coach was a pumpkin!

Why was the marathon runner put in prison?

For resisting a rest!

What do you get when you jog behind a car?


What do you get when you jog in front of a car?


Where does the Helsinki Marathon end?

At the Finnish line!

Did you hear about the fish that entered a marathon?

It did it for the halibut!

Why was the DJ disqualified from the 100m?

He kept changing tracks!

Why did the gardener lose the running race?

She took the wrong route!

What do sprinters snack on before the race?

Nothing, they fast!